Tag Archives: women’s fiction

This Book Belongs To Virtual Book Tour

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This Book Belongs To cover

Women’s Fiction

 

Date Published: 01-17-2022

Publisher: Cecil Press

While trekking across South America, Ellie Bartlett finds a mysterious guidebook that changes the course of her journey—and her life.

Ellie dreams of a life away from the sharp edges of New York City. Away from her creepy boss, shoebox apartment, and nights spent alone eating ice-cream. She’s desperate to find happiness and love.

After losing out on yet another promotion, Ellie quits her job and buys a ticket to South America. Arriving at her hostel as a first-time backpacker, she finds a mysterious guidebook filled with cryptic messages about life and love. Intrigued, Ellie contacts the previous owner, Bella, who wrote her name under the heading THIS BOOK BELONGS TO.

Her email lands in the inbox of Jerry Townsend, an architect and widower living in San Francisco. Jerry is barely keeping his life together as he juggles raising three daughters alone and construction of a museum in memory of his late wife—Bella.

Ellie and Jerry start messaging, sharing their fears, hopes and desires. Following Bella’s advice, Ellie embarks on a six-month solo adventure across South America, and over the course of emails, texts, phone calls and video chats, Ellie and Jerry’s pen-pal friendship develops into something more…

But can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met?

This Book Belongs To tablet

EXCERPT

PROLOGUE
Present Day, 18th July – Mount Roraima, Venezuela
Where do you conquer fear?
Ellie hoped it was twenty yards away, on the edge of a 1200-foot cliff.
It better fricking be there.
Clouds swirled around the table mountain, which rose above the jungle like a block of
unformed clay. Sprawled across its flat top was a landscape belonging to another world—twisted
rock formations, quartz fields and unexplored caves. Off its sides cascaded some of the tallest
waterfalls on our planet.
Ellie sat alone near the northern tip, shivering in a muddy t-shirt and feeling about as
small as the tick she’d scraped off her leg this morning. Nature had a way of doing that to you.
With arms wrapped around her knees to keep out the cold, she stared into the fog that first
greeted her an hour ago. She still couldn’t get her stupid feet to move.
It’d taken four days of grueling trekking to get to this point, in thick jungle, deep mud,
and through a waterfall that tried to wash her away to an early death. Now was the last chance to
face her greatest test. She needed to push herself out of the comfort zone she knew so well. That
she’d lived in for too long.
If only it were that easy.
Ellie’s hair whipped across her neck and her eyes welled with fear. Here she was
fulfilling a dream to visit one of the most unique places on earth, but she couldn’t have imagined
a worse nightmare. She grabbed a stone and tossed it toward the precipice. It tumbled over the
lip and was swallowed by the fog, never to be seen again.
Maybe that’ll be my fate too.
Brushing away a tear, Ellie closed her eyes to visualize her goal: combatting her mortal
fear of heights by standing on the very edge of Mount Roraima—1200 feet above the ground. If
she made it, what would be her reward? Courage? Happiness? Donuts? Surely just a taste of one
would be worth the pain.
Focus, Ellie.
A deep breath of crisp air filled her lungs with inspiration. She stood, bracing against the
biting wind. Her nose flared and she took her first tentative steps away from the safety of solid
land.
The clouds circled so fast that supernatural figures seemed to appear, like ghosts from a
horror movie grabbing at her limbs to pull her into the abyss. They parted for a second and she
glimpsed the vista beyond, a valley of emerald rainforest topped by a soaring blue sky. Her heart
leaped, teasing her forward.
“C’mon Ellie. You can do it. You have to do it.”
She felt like a child, but knew it was time to be an adult or this entire journey would be
for nothing. It was time to grow up, goddammit.
Even if it killed her.
CHAPTER 1
Three Weeks Earlier – New York City, USA
The only sign Ellie had of the fiery midsummer sunset over Manhattan was a reflection in
the corner of her computer screen. Trapped amongst rows of empty cubicles that stretched from
wall-to-wall like a factory farm, she tapped on her keyboard with flawless posture.
“Boo!”
“Oh, gosh.” Ellie tried not to let on that she’d been startled by Dennis Koslowski, a bald
man in a power suit who’d crept up behind her. “Do you mind?”
“You’re like a scared little kitten.” He sat on her desk as if he owned it. “Why are you
always so jumpy when D.K. comes around?”
“I’m not jumpy. Just busy,” Ellie replied pointedly. She’d long given up trying to
communicate with Dennis the Douchebag, or understand why he referred to himself in the third
person.
“How’s the final draft coming?” he said. “Tomorrow’s the big day.”
“Almost done.” Ellie’s eyes remained fixed on her screen. She didn’t need to be
reminded that the report valuing a potential takeover target was scheduled to be presented to the
C.E.O. and Partners at 9 a.m. It would be the most important moment of her five-year career as a
research analyst at DeWitt Financial Consultants.
“I need it tonight so I can prepare.”
“You’ll have it,” Ellie said. When had she not come through on a deadline? And since
when did Dennis prepare for anything? In fact, what was he doing here so late?
“I was thinking we could drill down into it together,” he continued, spreading his arms
across her workstation. “Take a look at the charts. Discuss areas for organic growth. D.K. is a
great sounding board.”
“I work better alone.” Ellie hit her keyboard harder. If he really wanted to help he
could’ve offered any time in the last month. But Dennis was the guy in your high school group
project who did nothing then took all the credit, without a smidgen of shame.
“I’m just saying, if you want to spitball cost synergies or pivot opportunities going
forward, D.K.’s your man.”
And if you drop one more buzzword, I’m going to smash this keyboard over your ugly
bald egghead.
He opened the jar containing Ellie’s emergency jellybean stash and stuck his fingers
inside. “Don’t forget there’s a promotion up for grabs at the end of this week.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“Do you know who the frontrunner is?”
Curiosity got the better of Ellie and she stopped typing. “Who?”
“Well, if you don’t know, it’s not you.” Dennis shoved a jellybean in his mouth and
flashed a shit-eating grin.
Ellie’s jaw hardened. She needed this promotion. Not just for the juicy pay bump, but to
know spending the best years of her life working her ass off to make other people rich had been
worth it for her too. ‘Ellie Bartlett, Senior Analyst’ had a nice ring to it. It would also put her one
step above Dennis so she wouldn’t have to tolerate his bullshit anymore.
“You know I can help, Ellie. Put in a good word for you with my uncle.”
“I don’t have time to play games.”
“No games. Just an offer. I’m sure we could figure something out.” He winked in
proposition.
Ellie bristled, but swallowed her disgust. Working in the cold heart of the financial
system was like being stuck in some weird parallel universe where what passed for acceptable
behavior hadn’t caught up with the #MeToo movement. Dennis got away with being a beadyeyed sleazeball because he happened to be the C.E.O.’s nephew, and male of course, which were
the only two ‘advantages’ Ellie couldn’t match.
“I’ve always wondered what your hair looks like down,” he said.
Oh, for Pete’s sake!
It took every ounce of willpower to resist murdering him. “Excuse me,” Ellie forced out,
reaching for one of the neatly-labelled, color-coded, folders above her workspace.
Dennis stared at her before moving. “D.K. has a hot date anyway. Email the report when
you’re done.” He walked off without a goodbye.
Ellie shook off the uncomfortable exchange. A hot shower wouldn’t be enough to remove
the slime, it would take a full chemical delousing. She looked mournfully at her jar of jellybeans,
then poured them into the trash.
Hopefully his hot date gives him herpes.
Gabby McMillan, a chirpy woman with pale skin and striking orange hair, skipped over
to Ellie’s desk. “Let me guess, Dennis is still auditioning for a place on Love Island?”
“Regrettably.”
“So are you coming out for drinks? You’ve been staying late all week and God knows
you could use a break. Especially tonight.”
“I’d love to…” Ellie returned to her screen.
“But you have to work. It’s always the same old story, Ellie. You’re missing out,
y’know.” Gabby paused, emphasizing the point: not just missing out on tonight, but missing out
on life.
Ellie was entirely aware of this fact. Being perennially single, there’d been a lot of time
to think about how she’d become a skilled practitioner in relationship avoidance, or as she liked
to call it—pain prevention. She’d never expected a fairytale Prince Charming to sweep her off
her feet, but heck, at this point even the Phantom of the Opera would’ve been an upgrade.
We could live together in the Paris Opera House, ring the bells to start the show and
scare tourists throughout the night. We’d be happy, eating croissants and watching boats sail by
on the Seine. Perhaps we’d even make some rugrats.
“Ellie, if you don’t come out you can’t meet men.” Gabby brought her back to reality.
“And if you can’t meet men, you can’t—”
“I can meet them online.”
“Do you even know what Tinder is?” Gabby raised an eyebrow. “Listen, we’re going to
C.J.’s for beers and wings and we’d love you to come celebrate, even for one drink.”
“I might join you later if I have time.” Ellie avoided eye contact, because it was obvious
she wouldn’t be joining them later.
She waited until her friend had gone before checking her phone. 7 p.m. and three missed
calls from her sister. Alone with only the drone of air-con to keep her company, she took off her
glasses and let out a pained sigh.
Why are you doing this to yourself again?
On your birthday, too.
Juggling a pizza box and bottle of wine, Ellie eventually got her key in the front door.
There was a small package at her feet and she kicked it inside, dumped her bag on the sofa and
everything else on the kitchen bench.
The one-bedroom brownstone was a shoebox, but meticulously kept. Ellie liked to try
and control her environment and had lived this way long enough to believe it was possible.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t control the creaking pipes or view of the brick wall through the
window.
She poured a glass of wine and took a gulp-and-a-half, relishing how it instantly relaxed
her brain.
The. Best. Part. Of. My. Day.
Slipping off her heels and releasing her hair from its bun, Ellie’s eyes fell to a notepad on
the bench with the heading THINGS TO DO. It included a long list of items, mostly mundane
tasks such as BUY MILK and PAY RENT. She’d drawn cute little boxes next to each one so
they could be ticked off when completed. There was just enough space for two more items.
Ellie picked up a pen and wrote in clear block letters: DO WHAT MAKES YOU
HAPPY.
She read the words again, stunned by the radical idea. Then quickly crossed them out.
But that just created a new problem because now her perfect list had been ruined. Ellie wrote an
item on the final line: MAKE A NEW LIST. Then drew a little box next to it.
There was a beep on her phone with a message from Gabby: ‘You need to get here.
Raining men!’ Her friend had sent a photo with Finance Bros she’d met at the bar, all holding up
beers and grinning wildly at the camera. Ellie took another hit of wine.
Dropping onto the sofa, she opened her bag with a gaping yawn and pulled out a laptop
and folder of papers. If she didn’t get this promotion, Ellie wasn’t sure how much longer she
could keep burning the candle at both ends. Lately it’d felt more like a firecracker—about to
explode.
Ellie picked up the package she’d kicked across the floor and tore it open. Inside was a
book and birthday card with a picture of a hammock strung between palm trees. She flipped it
open and read the printed quote:
“When you’re old and weary, sitting in your rocking chair, you’ll regret
the things you didn’t try rather than the things you did try. So pull up the
anchor, head away from land, let the wind catch your sails. Travel.
Learn. Explore.”
– Anonymous
On the other side was a handwritten note:
To my gorgeous sis, Happy 31st Birthday! Posting this because you
never make time to see us. Found it in a box of dad’s old stuff and had
your name inside. Hope one day you let the wind catch your sails. Much
love, Donna.
Ellie turned over the book and gasped. It was a thin, faded, novella with a jungle font
title—The Lost World by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Underneath was a drawing of a flat-topped
mountain with a band of motley adventurers at its base.
Ellie held the book to her chest. Its woody scent transported her back to when she used to
lay in her dad’s lap while he read aloud to her. His deep voice emphasized each word as if the
story were happening that very moment. Often excited, sometimes scared, she’d been enthralled
by the adventures of Malone, Summerlee, Lord Roxton and Professor Challenger, facing danger
at every turn on their trek up Mount Roraima. And she’d often imagined what heroic journeys
she would take after growing up.
Oblivious to her dinner and work, Ellie felt an emptiness rise from the pit of her gut. A
black hole threatening to consume her from the inside out. It was a feeling of lost dreams and
missed opportunities—a life not lived to its fullest. She knew the feeling well, but over time had
become adept at suppressing it. To keep distracted by focusing on her career, binge-watching
trash on Netflix, the rabbit hole of the internet, anything to avoid facing it. But no matter what
she did it was always in the background, haunting her like a shadow.
Now, as the sensation grew more intense than ever, Ellie understood she needed to
exorcise this demon or it would completely consume her potential for happiness. She just wasn’t
sure how.
CHAPTER 2
Two Weeks Later – Caracas, Venezuela
Bathed in the late-afternoon sun, Ellie stood inside the ageing arrivals terminal of Simon
Bolivar International Airport. She’d spotted a reflection of herself in the automatic doors leading
to the road. Her petite frame was overloaded by a blue backpack strapped on her shoulders and
across her chest hung a small daypack that provided just enough counterweight to stop her
tipping. Besides the wearable luggage, her clean hiking boots and milky-white skin gave away
Ellie’s status as a newly-arrived traveler in a foreign land.
She smiled at the ridiculous image of her carrying such a massive pack like a snail lugged
its shell. But the smile was a nervous one. This ‘backpacker’ was so alien to her life back home
that she felt more than a bit apprehensive—terrified, actually—as a question raced through her
head.
What the fuck am I doing?
Outside, the humid air stuck to Ellie’s skin and she coughed through fumes from the cars
and buses honking past the airport. More than ten men shouted in her direction, “Taxi! Miss, you
need taxi!” It smacked of a demand, not a question, and Ellie felt like a squirrel about to be
devoured by a pack of coyotes.
The first driver to approach took both packs off her before she could protest and threw
them in the trunk of a taxi that’d seen better days. “Please, Miss. Quick, quick,” he urged,
opening the rear door and practically pushing her inside.
Ellie scooted across the splits in the vinyl seat. The stench of stale cigarettes filled her
nostrils. She reached over her shoulder for a seatbelt but was met with nothing. Mental note:
forget that American habit. The vehicle lurched forward before they’d even discussed destination
or price.
“Where you go?” the driver asked in scattered English.
“Hostel Caracas Backpackers, please, por favor,” Ellie replied in Spanglish.
“Sí, sí.”
“Is the meter working?” Ellie pointed hopefully at the device.
“No meter, no meter.”
“How much?”
“Veinte, twenty, good price.”
“Twenty bolivars?”
“Dólares de Estados Unidos. U.S.A. dollars. Good price. Me gusta U.S.A.”
Ellie bobbed her head reluctantly, suspicious but captive. The taxi swerved across the
highway and she slid all the way to the other side of the seat. If she were never heard from again,
at least C.N.N. would report she’d made it out of the airport. That was something.
Night had fallen when the deathtrap pulled up outside a stucco building in urgent need of
repair. Ellie climbed out, wondering what horrors lay behind the decaying facade.
She struggled to open her moneybelt while the driver dumped her backpack and daypack
on the sidewalk. “Sorry. I haven’t got the hang of this thing yet.” The zip sprung open, breaking
in the process. “Oh, great.” She fumbled for a US$20 note.
The driver snatched it and ran to his taxi, speeding off without a word.
“You’re welcome,” Ellie said, picking up her daypack.
Oh, no…
It felt lighter. She ripped it open and saw her iPad was gone.
“Hey, come back!” Ellie ran down the street after the taxi, but it surged away and
disappeared around a corner. “You bastard.” Ellie kicked the ground, but really wanted to kick
herself. How could she be so careless? Her sister had warned to keep her wits about her, at all
times. This was the worst possible start to her trip.
Ellie realized she was standing in the middle of the road. None of the streetlights were on
and a sickly cough jumped out of the shadows. She hurried to her backpack and dragged it inside
the hostel.
The door closed behind her with a miserable groan and Ellie’s doubts were confirmed.
The place was a dump. Paint peeled off the walls, an internal window had been broken, and only
one light bulb worked.
“Hola.” A young man greeted Ellie from behind the reception desk. He grinned through
his scrappy beard.
“Hi, hola…” She was breathless. “Um…a taxi driver just stole my iPad.”
“Yes, sometime that happen.” He seemed unconcerned.
“Do you have a number for the police…so I can call them and get it back?”
“Sorry, but your iPad not come back. Need to say bye-bye.”
Ellie stood in a vacuum of hopelessness while reality sunk in. It wasn’t so much the
device, which was a few years old and password protected, but it contained meticulous planning
for her journey. All gone.
“Hablas Español?” the man asked in a sing-song Venezuelan accent.
“No, English.”
“You are American?”
“Yes.”
“So you speak American.”
“That’s right,” Ellie managed a smile.
“My name is Benicio. Don’t worry about your iPad. This physical thing come and go but
in Venezuela you can always be happy.” He was so earnest she almost believed him. “You have
a reservation?”
“Under Ellie Bartlett.”
He checked his computer. “How much you pay for taxi?”
“Twenty dollars.”
“Dólares? Gringa price!” he howled.
Ellie half-heartedly chuckled along. “Twenty dollars plus an iPad. I guess I am a gringa
now.”
“OK, I have your booking. Here is towel.” Benicio reached under the desk and handed
Ellie a frayed towel that wouldn’t have been out of place in a rag pile. “You are in bed six, dorm
two. Upstairs and go left.”
“Is there a key?”
“No key. We are all friends here.”
Ellie resisted the urge to turn and run, because she had nowhere else to go. “OK…um, I’ll
just head up now.”
This is definitely a different check-in process compared to the hotels I’ve stayed at. I’m
guessing there’s not going to be a complimentary mint on the pillow.
Ellie attempted to pull her backpack up the flight of rickety stairs, but only made it a third
of the way before it slipped from her hand and tumbled back down. Benicio appeared at the
bottom and offered to help.
Each carrying one end like a body bag going into a morgue, they reached the second floor
and headed along a hallway with missing floorboards and unexplained holes in the wall. Benicio
ushered Ellie into the dorm and flicked on the light.
Holy crap.
There were four sets of bunk-beds jammed into the room, most with unmade sheets.
Battered backpacks, dirty underwear and random socks littered the floor as if a hurricane had hit.
The weather service must’ve named it Hurricane Stink. The travelers who owned the appalling
mess weren’t around, but Ellie was already forming an image of what they might look like. It
included dreadlocks, nose rings, and hairy armpits.
“You can use these for valuable things.” Benicio waved at a set of lockers by the wall,
some missing doors. “And the bathroom is down the hall.”
Ellie felt the colour drain from her face and took a step backward.
“Todo bien? Everything OK?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m just…I think I need sleep.”
“First time in dormitorio?”
Ellie nodded.
“You have earplugs?”
Ellie shook her head.
“Maybe you buy them. This is your bed.” Benicio tapped a top bunk, which looked
incredibly high. “OK, buenas noches.”
“Gracias,” Ellie squeaked out before he left.
She made space for her backpack by pushing a pair of cruddy boxer shorts out of the way
with her shoe.
You can deal with this, Ellie. It will be good for you.
There was no ladder to her bed so she grabbed onto the frame and tried to swing herself
up. It didn’t end well. She fell back to the floor with a thud. On a second, more energetic attempt,
Ellie made it up and rested on her tiny piece of rented real estate.
Surveying the chaos below, it was hard not to see it as a pool of sewage that would give
her nightmares about drowning in germs. She took a bottle of anti-bacterial gel from her daypack
and rubbed it over her hands. Just to be safe.
Ellie checked the bed and promptly concluded the sheets weren’t Egyptian cotton. There
was also a fishy yellow stain on the pillow. A heavy sweater? Something else? She flipped it
over. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ had never worked before, but it better work tonight. She curled
into a ball and shut her eyes tight.
CHAPTER 3
New York City, USA
“OK, OK, shut up,” Ellie implored, finding her phone on the floor and shutting off the
alarm. It took a few seconds to blink her eyes awake. She’d fallen asleep on the sofa, and the last
thing in her fuzzy memory was emailing the report to her team in anticipation of the 9 a.m.
meeting.
Ellie sat up, pushing away the mop of hair that flopped over her face. Something jabbed
into her hip. The Lost World book. A dream from last night surged back into her head. In it she’d
seen Mount Roraima with her own eyes. Climbed to the summit with her own feet. Soaked her
soul in the mysterious aura of the ancient mountain.
She shook the dream away. It was just that—a fantasy.
Still disoriented and desperately needing coffee, Ellie walked out of the subway and into
Manhattan’s bustling financial district. The sidewalk was crowded with hundreds of
businesspeople dressed in black, blue or gray. Harsh shadows made it look even more monotone.
Ellie shielded her eyes. The straight lines of the city struck her as severe and she had a burning
desire to break away from all the planned roads and square buildings. To leave the tedious
routine of city life and go somewhere with fewer hard edges.
At the start of her career, Ellie had enjoyed working in the Big Apple, with all the
excitement and status that brought. And she loved how proud her mom and dad had been when
she landed a job here. But now all she saw were grim faces lost in their own worlds but living the
same lives: balancing in heels, adjusting ties, fudging numbers to meet quarterly targets, plotting
to slit their best friend’s throat to get ahead.
Nope, it’d never felt like home. To be honest, Ellie didn’t know where home was
anymore.
In the middle of this washed-out scene, a splash of color appeared. A man and woman,
barely out of their teens, strolled by with large red backpacks. Wearing jeans and t-shirts, they
moved at half the speed of everyone else. They bought a pretzel to share from a food cart and,
unlike the office workers sidestepping them, smiled and laughed freely.
“Bonza? Nobody uses that word anymore,” the tanned woman said in a thick Australian
accent.
“I’m bringin’ it back. It’s bonza, mate!” the man replied with a mouthful of pretzel and
equally strong Aussie twang.
“You’re a dickhead,” she laughed. “So whatcha wanna do today?”
“Dunno. How about we hang in Central Park? Just chill.”
“Sounds bonza. You got a map?”
“Na, let’s head this way tho’. She’ll be ‘right.”
Ellie stared at the pair, backpacks happily bobbing up-and-down as they continued to
their next unplanned adventure. Her eavesdropping had been brief but enlightening, because
everything about them screamed one word.
Freedom.
It was impossible to concentrate, and she still hadn’t found coffee. The pages spitting out
of the printer put Ellie in a trance only broken by Gabby describing her latest sexual conquest in
far too much detail. Oral? On a first date? What about STIs? And Ebola?
Ellie excused herself, making her way through the cubicles to the conference room.
Every time she took this walk it reminded her of the morning last December when she got called
into a meeting to be told she’d been passed over for yet another promotion. The guy who got it
couldn’t even program Excel.
Get it together, Ellie. Today’s your shot.
You’re going to impress the boss, make the firm a ton of money, and get that damn
promotion.
Ellie pushed her shoulders back, lengthened her stride, and rounded the corner to the
conference room.
She stopped in her tracks. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows she could see Dennis
standing at the head of the table, presenting to the C.E.O. and a dozen Partners. On the screen
behind him was the report. Her report.
Ellie’s chest caved in. She struggled for air. Checked her phone. 8.45 a.m. Why had the
meeting started early? It must be a mistake. A pre-meeting meeting. They were waiting for her to
arrive and take over. Yes, that was it. After all, she knew the report better than anyone. Hell,
Dennis had trouble counting. So why did he look so confident up there?
She grabbed the handle and pushed inside. A round of applause filled the room. For a
second Ellie thought it might be for her entrance, then realized the Partners were applauding
Dennis. He basked in the glory, grinning like a thief who’d just gotten away with the diamonds.
It dawned on her that the meeting wasn’t starting—it had ended.
The C.E.O., sharing his nephew’s bald genes, stood and shook Dennis’ hand. “Fantastic
work. Very thorough. I knew you’d come through.”
Ellie’s jaw dropped. She caught Dennis’ eye and he winked back.
The C.E.O. quietened everyone with his hands. “OK folks, I was going to announce this
on Friday but don’t see any reason to delay. I’m pleased to say that our new Senior Analyst will
be…Dennis Koslowski.”
More applause. And handshaking. And backslapping.
Ellie felt like she was going to black out. She steadied herself on a chair as the conference
room emptied. “What’s going on?”
“D.K. killed it, that’s what’s going on,” Dennis replied, gathering his papers.
“We were supposed to start at nine.”
“It got changed.”
“Why didn’t you message me?”
He didn’t answer.
“Why didn’t you message me?!” Ellie demanded to know.
Dennis shrugged. “My phone died.”
There was a wash of silence as Ellie processed his lie.
“We make a great team. Well done, shorty.” He moved to punch her shoulder.
She batted his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
“Hey, calm down. You’re acting crazy.”
“You stole my fucking job!” She was surprised by her outburst.
Dennis leaned in close and his eyes narrowed. “Don’t be so naive, Ellie. It was always
mine.”
Ellie stiffened. Opened her mouth. Closed her mouth. Her heart beat so fast her cheeks
flushed. She felt sweat running down her back.
“C’mon, don’t look so pissed, we’ll still be working together. I’m your new boss,”
Dennis said, his grin dripping with grease.
Ellie ran out. Down the hall to the bathroom. Pushed inside a stall—and puked.
She flushed and slammed the toilet seat closed and sat in disbelief. Her eyes grew hot
with tears. It made her blood boil that not only was she more competent than him, but five years
of forced smiles at all the filthy jokes told by the boy’s club at DeWitt Financial Consultants
counted for nothing. Ellie had been raised to believe hard work would always be rewarded, but
now everything she’d sacrificed suddenly seemed worthless.
What have I been doing with my life?!
She slammed a fist into the wall.
Head held high, Ellie marched down the hallway. Washing her face and fixing her clothes
had restored some confidence, and helped her figure out what came next.
Dennis was the center of attention at his cubicle, getting fist-bumps and bro-hugs from
colleagues, and doing some idiotic handshake that belonged in middle school. “Hey, Ellie. Come
out with us tonight to celebrate,” he said.
She walked straight past him while giving him the mental middle finger.
“Y’know, you could at least smile.” Dennis high-fived and whooped some more.
Ellie took a long breath, slowly turned around, and gave him the actual middle finger. “I
quit.”
The cocky grin slid off Dennis’ face. His colleagues fell quiet behind him. “You…can’t
leave.”
“I can do whatever I want,” Ellie said. Her mind miraculously cleared, the way it always
does when you choose a path that restores your own power. She straightened her spine, turned on
her heel, and left without waiting for a response. The sound of Dennis’ silence played like
glorious background music.
Holy shit.
I did it.
I really did it!
Adrenaline surged through Ellie’s body and her steps morphed into energetic strides. A
genuine smile spread from ear-to-ear for the first time in years. Reaching her cubicle, she took
her purse then went to grab her laptop bag. Wait. She wouldn’t need it anymore. In fact, there
was nothing here she wanted. She looked around at all the order in her world, then left, without
regret.
Ellie could only imagine all the incredible ways this decision would change her life.
CHAPTER 4
Caracas, Venezuela
Ellie sat bolt upright. Sunlight crept through the curtains, but the roar of a traveler
snoring like a grizzly bear was the clue she’d just spent her first night in a hostel. And lived to
tell the tale!
She swung her legs over the bunk. Her feet didn’t reach the floor and she accidentally
stepped on someone’s nose. Luckily, the man rolled over into his feral dreadlocks to keep
snoozing. Ellie had to jump the last foot.
Towel and toiletries kit in hand, she tiptoed down the hallway to the bathroom. The door
had both male and female figures painted on it.
Unisex bathroom. Awesome. That always ends well.
Ellie cautiously pushed inside and her skin crawled. There was no natural light, making
the beige tiles look even further past their use-by date and breeding a blackish mold. Then the
smell hit her like a porta-potty had dropped on her head. A ghastly mix of fungus and poop. Ellie
gagged into the basin before noticing it was littered with pubic hair.
What the hell…?
She steeled herself and pulled back the shower curtain. The recess was a concrete shell
with only one tap—cold. And instead of a drain cover there was a cavernous hole that threatened
to suck its victims into a grubby void.
Just when Ellie thought things couldn’t get any worse, a cockroach scurried out of the
hole. It lingered for a moment as if to tell her she didn’t belong here, then dove back into the
drain. Ellie let out a horrified sob.
Desperate to pee, she turned to the toilet. The seat was cracked in half and someone had
left an epic deposit. That explained the smell. A notice on the wall instructed: ‘Do not flush
paper. Throw in trash.’ The overflowing bin hadn’t been emptied in a week. That also explained
the smell. Ellie grabbed the last sheet of paper and flushed the handle. At least something
worked.
Surrounded by grime and bugs and other people’s butt wipes, Ellie shut her eyes. “It’s all
part of the adventure,” she reassured herself.
And it’s why I brought enough hand sanitizer to disinfect a hospital ward.
Ellie bounded down the stairs to reception, daypack slung over her shoulder. She was
thrilled about surviving the bathroom, but even more so about her first day in a new country.
Well, thrilled and freaking out.
“Buenos días, Benicio.”
“Cómo estás, Ellie? How are you?” He took a sip of coffee and turned down the folksy
music.
“I need some help. Do you have a map of Caracas?”
“Sí. We have un mapa.” Benicio searched behind his desk. He flipped over piles of paper
but was clearly having trouble finding one. “Do you know where you want to go?”
“That’s my problem. All my notes were on my iPad.” Ellie was still angry at herself for
not being more careful with it. “I think the historic district would be a good place to start but,
yeah, I’m not sure how to get there.”
“We don’t have a map.” Benicio’s shoulders slumped.
“How about a WiFi password? I could download a map onto my phone.”
“Internet not working. This is problem in Venezuela.”
“OK…then maybe you could just point me in the right direction?”
“No, no,” he warned with a raised finger. “It is not safe to walk if you don’t know where
to go. I will call you a taxi—”
“No taxi,” Ellie insisted. Not after last night’s disaster. “I’m not usually like this,” she
continued, twisting her lip in embarrassment. “I would usually have a backup plan but I was so
stressed out by leaving that I didn’t think to print a hardcopy of all my notes and highlight
everything in different colours and—well I figured my iPad would be my guidebook.” She
finally took a breath.
Benicio’s face lit up. “We have a guidebook!”
He took a few steps past Ellie to a bookcase. A sign above it read BOOK EXCHANGE.
All the books were used, some had been passed along many times given the condition of their
spines, and they were in a variety of languages: English, Spanish, German, French. There were
even a couple in Hebrew and Japanese. Benicio searched until he found the one he wanted, a
slightly worn Unique Planet: South America On A Budget with a photo of Machu Picchu on its
cover. He passed it to Ellie with a satisfied grin.
“Wow, thank you,” Ellie said, rubbing a light coating of dust off it. “Oh, I have one to
exchange.” Ellie opened her daypack and pulled out a book titled How To Avoid Getting Killed
in South America. “My sister gave me this, but I don’t plan on needing it.”
The phone rang and Benicio excused himself.
Ellie opened the Unique Planet and turned to the chapter on Venezuela. She found a map
of Caracas, which had various landmarks circled in blue pen. There was also handwriting in the
margins.
Her curiosity sparked, Ellie flicked through the other chapters and saw there were
detailed notes for nearly all the countries in South America. There was barely a page that hadn’t
been written on—advice about adventure activities, places to visit off the tourist trail, and places
to avoid. Some comments were warnings (‘Be careful, pickpockets here’), others were
recommendations (‘Watch a sunset in Huacachina, you won’t be disappointed’), or funny oneliners (‘Bed bugs biting. Check in at own peril!’). There were also cryptic messages such as ‘You
made the right choice. Only she who walks knows her way.’
Hmm, interesting…
The notes had been written in a variety of colors but all the same neat cursive script,
which Ellie figured belonged to a female. It was obvious a lot of work had gone into annotating
the guidebook and Ellie felt fortunate for stumbling across it.
She did wonder though, who had gone to all this effort?
CHAPTER 5
San Francisco, USA
“Breakfast!” Jerry shouted in the general direction of the second story. No response.
“Pancakes!” he tried again, and immediately heard feet scrambling down the stairs and along the
hallway.
Always works like a charm.
Jerry’s six-foot four-inch frame, smartly dressed in a pressed white shirt tucked into tan
chino pants, towered over the benchtop while he sliced bananas into bowls of cereal. At thirtyeight years-old, he had dark eyes and wavy black hair that showed no signs of retreat—though
his family were trying their best.
“Pancakes!” seven year-old Mia screamed as she ran into the kitchen. Her sister, twelve
year-old Andrea, followed closely behind, putting Mia’s hair into pigtails. “Wait, where are the
pancakes?”
“Dad was joking,” Andrea explained. “Again.”
“Sorry honey, but I had to get you girls down here somehow or you’d never be ready for
school. We’re trying to arrive on time this week, remember?”
Mia scrunched up her face. “I’m not hungry.” Unlike their Caucasian father, the two girls
had olive skin with round faces and brown eyes.
“You were hungry for pancakes.”
“I lost my appetite when my dad lied to me.” She crossed her arms for maximum effect.
Oh boy, it was going to be one of those days.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Jerry said, carrying the bowls to the table. “You know you can’t
concentrate at school without food in your tummy.” Summer had well and truly arrived by the
second week of July and the renovated Victorian in the Haight Ashbury neighborhood glowed
with natural light.
“OK, you’re done.” Andrea gave Mia’s hair a tug and sat to start breakfast. After glaring
at Jerry while he read the newspaper, Mia grudgingly took a seat but still refused to eat.
“Did I hear someone say ‘pancakes?’” Another girl joined her family in the kitchen. It
was seventeen year-old, going on twenty-one, Yasmina. She was as beautiful as she was tall,
with large eyes and dark hair that fell to her waist.
“Dad lied,” Mia explained.
“He lied to us about Santa Claus for years so it’s no surprise really.”
“I’m still angry about the Santa Claus thing.”
“Can we not make this another pick-on-dad day, please?” Jerry said. For the love of God,
please. “Besides, it’s time for our weekly global affairs challenge.”
The children groaned. “Must we do this every Monday? It’s too early.”
“The planet doesn’t stop turning just because you’re tired, Yas. Best answer gets to
choose takeout on Saturday. Let’s see what is happening…” Jerry flicked through the paper.
“Here we go. ‘Devastating rains have lashed Guatemala, causing flash flooding around the
historic city of Antigua. Thousands of people have been dislocated and roads, schools, and
hospitals washed away. Guatemala has appealed for international assistance to deal with the
crisis.’ OK girls, what should we do?”
“What does ‘dis-lo-cat-ed’ mean?” Mia said it syllable-by-syllable to make sure she got it
right.
“It means people’s houses have been destroyed and they have nowhere to live.”
“Then we should build them new ones!” she suggested enthusiastically.
“A very good idea.”
“The most important thing is to make sure people have safe drinking water and medicine
because there might be an outbreak of disease,” Andrea said, always keen to contribute. “So we
should immediately send bottled water, drugs, and also tents so they have a place to sleep. In the
future we could help by sending engineers to stop the flooding from happening again.”
“Excellent suggestions. Do you have anything to say?” Jerry looked over the paper at
Yasmina.
“I’m not playing.”
“Dad?”
“Yes, honey.”
“They won’t be able to go to school, will they?” Mia asked.
“Not for a while.”
“That’s sad.”
“Is it?” Yasmina slurped her juice.
“I like school,” Mia declared with all the eagerness of a second grader. “I think we should
build them new schools so they can learn to be engineers and then we won’t have to send any
next time.”
“It looks like we have a winner.” Jerry and Mia high-fived. She beamed and finally
tucked into her breakfast.
“Oh, Dad.” Andrea rolled her eyes.
“What? She made a good point.” Navigating the power-dynamics of three daughters
meant that he lost, in some way, every day.
Jerry’s eyes darted between the road and mirrors as he drove his SUV through peak-hour
traffic. “What about your homework? Did you finish reading The Odyssey?”
“Yeah,” Yasmina replied, tapping on her phone like her life depended on it. She sat up
front next to her dad, while Mia was in a booster seat in the back with Andrea.
“What did you think about the ending?”
“Dad, can’t you see I’m busy here?”
“Did you actually finish it?”
She kept playing with her phone.
“Jesus, Yasmina. The Odyssey is an important piece of literature. You have an essay on it
this afternoon.”
“How do you know that?”
“I signed up to Mrs. Pearson’s website.”
“I hate that bitch.”
“Hey!” Jerry shot her a glance. “Don’t be disrespectful.”
“Odysseus was disrespectful. He shouldn’t have left Penelope at home all those years.”
“Well, I’m glad you got that far into it. But the language you use around your sisters is
important. We’ve talked about this before.” Too many times.
Andrea and Mia leaned forward to listen to the argument unfolding up front.
“Whatever. I didn’t see the point of reading the whole thing. It’s a stupid story anyway.”
Jerry sighed. “Besides it being one of the oldest stories in human history, and a classic
tale about a man on a journey against all odds back to the woman he loves, the point is you have
an assessment on it. And if you haven’t read it, how will you be able to write anything
meaningful?”
“I read the online summary. I just can’t remember the ending right now.”
“Oh, that’s great.” Jerry’s voice rose ominously. “It’s not just about writing an essay, you
know. It’s about critical thinking. Developing the skills to analyze a question and come up with a
solution. And you practice that in school because when you get out into the real world that’s
what you have to do every day.”
Yasmina mocked her dad’s advice by mouthing her lips as he spoke.
“Your mother would be so disappointed in you.”
She stopped playing with her phone, and the girls in the back stopped giggling.
There was a long silence until Jerry pulled the car to the curb outside their school. “A kiss
for Dad, please girls.”
Andrea and Mia kissed Jerry on the cheek. Yasmina jumped straight out to greet a group
of friends standing nearby.
Jerry opened the window and called out, “A kiss for Dad, please Yas!”
She stopped dead and turned around. “Dad,” she gasped through clenched teeth.
“Do you want me to say it again? A kiss—”
“OK!” Yasmina ran back to the car and reluctantly pecked him on the cheek. “I’m going
to kill you.”
“Yas, I know things are tough. But your mom and I didn’t raise you to be lazy.”
“I know, OK. It’s just… I know.” She nodded faintly before joining her friends.
“Love you, Stardust!” Jerry shouted as he drove off. In his rear-view mirror, Yasmina
fumed while her friends collapsed in hysterics.
If he couldn’t win, at least he was going to have fun losing.

About the Author

Nick Levy

Nick Levy loves traveling and writing to understand the world and our place in it. An award-winning scriptwriter and novelist, he has lived in dozens of countries, including Australia, the USA, Singapore, Mexico, Peru and Thailand. His passion for adventure has taken him from the highlands of Scotland to the coral reefs of Belize, and from the pyramids of Egypt to the tea plantations of Sri Lanka. With degrees in English, History and Education, he has taught in schools on three continents. His writing, directing and producing work in movies has crossed the genres of comedy, drama, thriller and action. Inspired by his parents’ love of travel, film and books, he enjoys taking readers on a journey of discovery so they can appreciate our incredible planet and its fascinating inhabitants.

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This Book Belongs To Blitz

 

This Book Belongs To cover

Women’s Fiction

 

Date Published: 01-17-2022

Publisher: Cecil Press

While trekking across South America, Ellie Bartlett finds a mysterious guidebook that changes the course of her journey—and her life.

Ellie dreams of a life away from the sharp edges of New York City. Away from her creepy boss, shoebox apartment, and nights spent alone eating ice-cream. She’s desperate to find happiness and love.

After losing out on yet another promotion, Ellie quits her job and buys a ticket to South America. Arriving at her hostel as a first-time backpacker, she finds a mysterious guidebook filled with cryptic messages about life and love. Intrigued, Ellie contacts the previous owner, Bella, who wrote her name under the heading THIS BOOK BELONGS TO.

Her email lands in the inbox of Jerry Townsend, an architect and widower living in San Francisco. Jerry is barely keeping his life together as he juggles raising three daughters alone and construction of a museum in memory of his late wife—Bella.

Ellie and Jerry start messaging, sharing their fears, hopes and desires. Following Bella’s advice, Ellie embarks on a six-month solo adventure across South America, and over the course of emails, texts, phone calls and video chats, Ellie and Jerry’s pen-pal friendship develops into something more…

But can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met?

About the Author

Nick Levy

Nick Levy loves traveling and writing to understand the world and our place in it. An award-winning scriptwriter and novelist, he has lived in dozens of countries, including Australia, the USA, Singapore, Mexico, Peru and Thailand. His passion for adventure has taken him from the highlands of Scotland to the coral reefs of Belize, and from the pyramids of Egypt to the tea plantations of Sri Lanka. With degrees in English, History and Education, he has taught in schools on three continents. His writing, directing and producing work in movies has crossed the genres of comedy, drama, thriller and action. Inspired by his parents’ love of travel, film and books, he enjoys taking readers on a journey of discovery so they can appreciate our incredible planet and its fascinating inhabitants.

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A Mystical Embrace Blitz

 

A Mystical Embrace cover

Love is Forever, Book Three

Romance, Women’s Fiction

 

Published: November 2021

When we view death through the lens of beauty, it surprises us how much more we can see.

The people and the places of the life gone are textured by his soul’s weave. Each presence evokes the beauty of memories.

For each unforgettable character in this stunning sequel, we learn how the memories seep to the surface and bind forgotten joy and endured sorrow.

Throughout, there is an underlying flow of grace that is filled with compassion and understanding—an infusion of springtime into the winters of bleakness.

So intimate are the human encounters, they unravel the thread of one’s being and can even illuminate the heart.

Where does the flame go when the candle is blown out?

This philosophical question haunts them, but they find the courage to take up the wondrous gift of being.

From the silence and stillness that fills the spaces where once their loved one dwelt; and through fathomless sadness, each hears the unheard eternal melody and dances with joy in renewed possibilities.

All books in the Love is Forever series:

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Temptation and Surrender

 

Love is Forever, Book 1

 

The Fallen Sniper Tears: A Sniper Romance Novel

Love is Forever, Book Two

 

A Mystical Embrace: A Mystical Romance Novel

Love is Forever, Book Three

 

The Madam’s Friend: A Novel for Women about Flawed, Textured, Vulnerable Soulmates

Love is Forever, Book Four

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About the Author

Marlene F. Cheng

I ran barefoot on the Canadian prairies in the dust that settled after the 2nd World War. That makes me an octogenarian, an oldie.

Thrust from the infinity of wheat fields into the warp of the Rockies, Selkirk, and Purcell mountains, the light that defined a frightful, but interesting, high school life challenged me.

Our neighbours were all Italian—migrants to Canadian mining towns. With his Welsh-born farmers’ busyness, my father found strange their art of dolce far niente—that is, the sweetness of doing nothing. They practiced it, “Come in. Come in. Sit down. Taste my homemade vino.” Our family adapted.

And the flames of railway trestles burning and women parading nude colored life. Doukhobors (a sect that had fled persecution in Russia) settled in the Kootenays. They protested having to send their children to public schools.

Wearing a babushka and twirling spaghetti, not only did I survive those years, but I thrived.

Vancouver, the “big city,” where I discovered traffic lights and city buses, claimed me for medical lab training, and I worked the night shift in the blood bank to put myself through university.

I’ve worked in cancer research, taught at tech schools, become a registered massage therapist, taken up energy schooling in NY., married and raised two kids, and, at 73, published my first book A Many Layered Skirt, a biography about a young Chinese girl trying to keep one frightening step ahead of the soldiers, during the Japanese occupation.

My husband, of 56 years, was Chinese. Our mixed marriage was intriguing, and happiness was ours. Interests in people, cultures, and places took us around the world. Many of those adventures find their way into my writing. He passed away, throwing my life into chaos. Now, I’ve picked up the pen, again, and have written four books in the Love is Forever Series; a Historical Romance-The Inspector’s Daughter and The Maid; and a literary, autofiction-Shifting to Freedom.

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My Name is Mary Virtual Book Tour

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My Name is Mary cover

African American Christian Fiction, Women’s Fiction, Women’s Mental Health

 

Date Published: December 7, 2021

Publisher: Jess, Mo’ Books LLC

Stepping away from her comfort zone, author JC Miller orchestrates a written tapestry chronicling the fragile state of a woman on the edge of insanity.

Plagued by a lifelong curse of mental illness, Mary Magdalene finds herself spending her golden years in a mental asylum. Her once zealous life becomes minimized to an endless routine of over-stimulating antipsychotic drugs. That is until Salmone Abrams, a hidden jewel from her past, resurfaces and helps her remember who she once was—The Queen of Harlem. Madame Mary Mags.

Inspired by her jazz playlist, JC Miller’s current novella, My Name is Mary Magdalene, shakes the family tree while exploring the often-stigmatized topic of mental health. This fictional spin on the biblical account of Mary Magdalene and her seven demons travels from the late 1940s into the mid-1990s as Mary recalls the battles that tore her life apart. Fear, Lust, Entitlement, Greed, Misery, Dependency, Guilt—emotional baggage that once achingly held her down propels her to victory.

My Name is Mary tablet

EXCERPT

“Man is the cruelest animal” – Friedrich Nietzsche 

Hello, My Name Is… 

My name is Mary Magdalene. I know you’re wondering, how did a heathen like me get stuck with such a sacred name? My Mama named me—on her deathbed. I haven’t thought about Mama, or me for that matter, in years. I try not to think about the past; it helps make the present more doable. Life brushes past you. Months and years seem to blend into one indistinguishable blur. It wasn’t until Salmone Abrams, with his beautiful and gentle self, walked into the psychiatric ward where I was an involuntary mental patient, did I even think of such thoughts. Up until that moment, everything I knew and everything I was, was dark, hidden, and dying inside of me. 

That morning, an orderly rolled me out onto the East Lawn Pavilion for breakfast. 

Supposedly I was soaking up rays from the end of the summer sun. Nurse Mulligan would have never allowed such a courtesy. From the moment we met, she disliked me and handled me with mean intentions. She was, by nature, a nasty and uptight person who assaulted me every chance she got. Having no one to turn to, I was devastated and stripped down to my foundation. The first chance I got; I bit a plug out of her arm. I was placed in a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit from that day on, and Nurse Mulligan made sure I was uncomfortable and forcibly over-medicated against my will. She kept me loopy, feeble, and isolated. But on that last sun-filled day, the evil wench had a premature delivery. An acting psych nurse, who changed the trajectory of my life, was filling in for Nurse Mulligan’s maternity leave. If I could have, I would have jumped for joy when I heard the news. As it was, I was still coming down from being drugged, and I hadn’t eaten anything. My hands felt like rubber mallets; I couldn’t lift a spoon, let alone bring one to my mouth. To make matters worse, my next set of meds were scheduled after breakfast; instead of numbing me, they caused me to see monkeys. If I wasn’t careful of how I reacted, the meds were capable of sending me straight to lockdown in the secluded padded rooms. That was where I usually spent my afternoons—hungry and screaming at a locked door with dem damn monkeys crawling the walls. 

That blessed morning, Salmone Abrams, wearing the most angelic smile I’ve seen in a long time, along with Nurse Lindt, the fill-in, walked across the East Lawn with a giant fluffy white teddy bear in his right hand. 

“Mrs. Owens, you have a visitor,” Nurse Lindt announced with a smile not quite as charming as Salmone’s but kind. “It’s your grandson, Mrs. Owens.” She added, reiterating the information on his visitor identification badge while resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. I drew away my shoulder, rejecting her. 

Next thing I know, you’ll be drugging me up and locking me in too. No, ma’am. 

Get your hand off me,  I thought, keeping my eyes on the colorful plate of food I wanted to eat but could not. 

Salmone squatted down next to me and placed the gift down on the table in front of my plate. The teddy bear was holding a big red heart made of felt that read, I Love You. I didn’t know how to act. I was giddy on the inside but forgot how to express myself. It had been so long since a man, smelling and looking as good as he did, brought me anything. I did get that one cracker from Eddie, a patient who frequented my room when I was incapacitated to poke his nasty drawn-up thing in me. When I say poke, that’s what I mean; he thrust himself into me. We didn’t have sex—it was just a thrust. I think Eddie forgot how to do the rest and he came back hoping to remember. 

He did give me that stinking stale cracker, though. Salmone, wearing a navy-blue open blazer over a white tee and faded jeans, inched closer to me and brushed my hair with his hand. I didn’t realize I still had hair. It wasn’t something you thought about often in there. 

“Hey, Maw-Maw, ‘memba me?” I turned toward him, and he smiled that same pleasant smile. 

There was a dim flicker of recognition, but I didn’t know him from Adam. I think I smiled anyway. Why not?  He was colored, kind-looking, and called me Maw Maw—speaking the language I grew up with. 

“Awww… there you go!” Nurse Lindt responded, clasping her small, white age-spotted hands together, pleased with my reaction to Salmone. “I’m going to give you two some privacy.” She lightly touched him to attract his attention. He was gazing at me, and I was avoiding his eye contact. “If you need me, Mr. Abrams, I’ll be in the nurse’s station. Also, the orderlies in blue uniforms are here for you if needed.” She added, stopping the one that I hated as he was walking by. Dino. He was one of Nurse Mulligan’s flunkies. A tall, narrow, slimy piece of crap. He was strong, though. The other was a woman with a nasty facial tic. I hardly ever saw her around except when Nurse Mulligan needed her. 

“Hey!” Dino responded, stopping in his tracks, and smiling wide for the new Head Nurse, with crooked, metal-wired teeth and acne scars tracing his face. 

Salmone stood and shook his hand. “I do have a few questions. Is my… 

grandmother able to speak?” He gestured toward me, rubbing my head again. He had me curious about how I looked. 

Dino glanced at Nurse Lindt first, and she nodded, giving him permission to answer, being that she was new. “Ahh, well no! At least not in full sentences…that I know of.” He answered using facial and body expressions that implied he somehow cared. “She hasn’t spoken to her treatment team…her social worker, or the unit’s clinical psychologist, Dr. Davis, since her admittance.” 

Damn, fool!  I thought, observing Salmone’s immediate disheartened expression. 

I talk. Just not to that raggedy-mouthed rascal.  I looked up at my teddy bear, into his big placid black glass eyes, and felt sad now myself. I wanted Salmone’s company. 

“Ooh,” he uttered sadly, stooping down near me again. “I guess I’ll sit with her for a while anyway…maybe help her eat some of this good-looking food.” He picked up that heavy behind spoon, and I opened my mouth like a little bird as he scooped up some cold eggs. Lord was I happy. 

Salmone didn’t stay long that first day, and I wasn’t sure when, or if, he would return. I didn’t have any answers for him, but he did make me remember who he was. 

He was the preacher’s kid from back home in New Orleans. Little Sal, all grown up. The little boy who used to run behind my great-niece, Rah…I claimed her as my granddaughter. He and his family lost contact with mine around the same time I did. Ten years ago. Sometime after that cursed night back in 1984 that finalized my admittance into the crazy house. Sal told me that he moved to New York City and became a cop. In his spare time, he searched for my family, mostly Rah. His childhood crush and committed friendship propelled him. He said the only public record he found on her was from high school, listing a welfare hotel in Hell’s Kitchen as an address, with no forwarding information. 

When I left them, they were staying with me at my Brownstone on Strivers’ Row in Harlem. Back when I was well, and well to do. Sal said it was like my family disappeared from the face of the earth. No listed employment, utility bills, loans, credit cards. Nothing. He looked so sad, having hit a brick wall. I wasn’t much help either, and I knew he was counting on my assistance. I simply sat there while he held my hands, rubbed my arms, and looked directly into my eyes. He wasn’t scared, like most people. 

They saw the mental unit as a locked box of angry people held against their will. It was. 

If the top of my head could have been unscrewed and looked into, it would have scared the hell out of most. Yet Sal looked at me with love and concern. He told me that he attempted to visit before, around three years earlier, after discovering my whereabouts. I was on lockdown, and Nurse Mulligan deliberately fed him a trough load of hogwash, deterring him from coming again. He almost didn’t. Then, he figured, if Rah was gone for good, he could enjoy a piece of her in me. 

I listened carefully as Sal rambled, drinking his every word. I hadn’t been spoken to in so long; the words gently fell upon my ears and revived my hearing. I enjoyed Sal’s youth, his zeal for life, and how his almond-shaped eyes gleamed and danced as he reminisced over old times back home in Louisiana. I didn’t utter a word, and although my expression was blank, my eyes smiled in remembrance of the world I seemed to have forgotten. My thoughts were knocking around in my head, but at least they were my thoughts and not those tormenting voices. I wanted to talk to Sal. I wanted to join in his laughter, but I felt a lot of irrational shame about being there. Besides, I was afraid. I, too, didn’t know where my family was. They abandoned me just as I did them. I couldn’t fault them. Dr. Davis told them that I would never recover from my Schizophrenic psychosis. Was he right about me?  I wasn’t sure. I definitely wasn’t myself, yet I wasn’t who he said I was either. I didn’t know who I was anymore…but I knew that my name was Mary Magdalene. 

About the Author

JC Miller

JC Miller lives in the scenic Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania with her husband, children, and floppy-eared Bassador pup.

Raised by a single mother in the Bronx, JC pulls from early experiences to showcase the soul of urban survival through faith-based novels. She also dedicates much of her time uplifting women via her blog and creating content with partner and friend, MR Spain, through their publishing company, Jess, Mo’ Books LLC.

On her days off, you can find JC whipping up her famous Red Velvet cake and listening to songs from her impressive vinyl record collection.

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My Name is Mary Magdalene Blitz

 

My Name is Mary Magdalene cover

African American Christian Fiction, Women’s Fiction, Women’s Mental Health

 

Date Published: December 7, 2021

Publisher: Jess, Mo’ Books LLC

Stepping away from her comfort zone, author JC Miller orchestrates a written tapestry chronicling the fragile state of a woman on the edge of insanity.

Plagued by a lifelong curse of mental illness, Mary Magdalene finds herself spending her golden years in a mental asylum. Her once zealous life becomes minimized to an endless routine of over-stimulating antipsychotic drugs. That is until Salmone Abrams, a hidden jewel from her past, resurfaces and helps her remember who she once was—The Queen of Harlem. Madame Mary Mags.

Inspired by her jazz playlist, JC Miller’s current novella, My Name is Mary Magdalene, shakes the family tree while exploring the often-stigmatized topic of mental health. This fictional spin on the biblical account of Mary Magdalene and her seven demons travels from the late 1940s into the mid-1990s as Mary recalls the battles that tore her life apart. Fear, Lust, Entitlement, Greed, Misery, Dependency, Guilt—emotional baggage that once achingly held her down propels her to victory.

About the Author

JC Miller

JC Miller lives in the scenic Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania with her husband, children, and floppy-eared Bassador pup.

Raised by a single mother in the Bronx, JC pulls from early experiences to showcase the soul of urban survival through faith-based novels. She also dedicates much of her time uplifting women via her blog and creating content with partner and friend, MR Spain, through their publishing company, Jess, Mo’ Books LLC.

On her days off, you can find JC whipping up her famous Red Velvet cake and listening to songs from her impressive vinyl record collection.

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Filed under BOOKS