Tag Archives: Satire

Toys in Babylon Blitz

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A Language App Parody and Whodunnit

 

Satire

Date Published: August 15, 2024

 

 

Who murdered the mascot and spokes-bear of the world’s most
successful foreign language app? Was it an executive, employee, investor,
lover, or one of the company’s animated instructors – endearing
cartoon personalities invested with the power of Artificial Intelligence?
What began as a chain novel prompt along the lines of “It was a dark
and stormy night” on a language app fan site morphed into a
full-fledged novel and parody by the prize-winning author of Cooperative
Lives. The story originally appeared online in thirteen riveting
installments but is now expanded and available in book format in both
English and German as the definitive parody, page turner, and murder mystery
for anyone who has ever studied language with a cast of digital cartoon
characters and an anthropomorphic mascot.

About the Author

Patrick Finegan

Patrick Finegan was born during the latter half of the Eisenhower
Administration and graduated during the Carter and Reagan Administrations
from Northwestern University and the University of Chicago Law School and
Graduate School of Business. He worked more than thirty years in law,
corporate finance, management consulting and risk management. He has a wife
and grown daughter and is an avid student of foreign languages. He is the
author of three published novels.

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The Amber Menhir Virtual Book Tour

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The Shadows of the Monolith: Book One

 

Fantasy, Grimdark Fantasy, Horror, Satire, Politics

Date Published: October 3, 2023

Publisher: Spinner Loom Press

 

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“A GRIPPING DARK FANTASY THAT IMMERSES YOU IN A WORLD OF DEADLY POWER
POLITIC AND CORRUPTION.”  Richard Moriarty – The Sun

 

With each new dawn, the celestial body known only as ‘Calamity’
draws closer – and with it the end of the world. Humanity’s only
hope from oblivion rests in the menhirs, towering bastions of scholarship
and imagination which cast long shadows across the lands. The scholars
within the menhirs devote themselves selflessly to the discovery of new
magic that will help avert the impending apocalypse … or so the
masses have been made to understand.

In a society divided between those with occult potential and lay
citizens, Tara Langcraw is recruited into the Amber Menhir with great
interest. The long-awaited heiress of a bloodline bearing the rarest of the
six magical disciplines, time manipulation, she is expected to flourish
within this noble citadel of learning, as are her friends and fellow
recruits, Roland Ward and Peony Bianchi.

They soon find, however, that those who fail to meet expectations, or who
dare to challenge the prevailing order, put more than their marks on the
line. For the menhir squirms with rivalries, and those who stand against the
status quo may not stand for very long.

The Amber Menhir tablet

EXCERPT

CHAPTER 2

Fast Friends

Countless rows of gnarled grapevines, some laden with fruit, glistened in the midday sun. Seeing them sent a pang of pride through Tara. Riding apart from the others, she drank in the hues of gold, crimson, and chocolate speckling the leaves. She adn’t ridden this far out from her manor in some time. Apart from fields and a few small vassal villages, there wasn’t much to see. 

Tara studied her fellow riders. The Architect and the menhir servants babbled amongst themselves, paying the heritage vines around them little heed. It was clear to Tara they knew little about winemaking; otherwise they would have been impressed. Ahead at the confluence of the Spring Road and the Langcraw estates, more menhir servants on horseback gathered, each of them clad in the customary grey robes. The servants adjusted their cowls as they spotted Tara and her escorts. Ms. Ash cued her horse to trot, passing by Tara to greet the other servants. Beside them rode a boy in plain trousers and a green shirt bearing scrollwork. He rode atop a workhorse; his considerable height and weight seemed to demand it. 

Tara took stock of the boy. Given his lack of scholar’s robes, Tara concluded he must be the promised Ward ascendant.

The boy twisted in his saddle and beamed at the riders as they approached.

“Ms. Langcraw, this is your first ascendant colleague, Mr. Roland Ward,” Architect Blanchet announced. 

Roland Ward boasted a tanner complexion than any field-worker Tara knew. A dense constellation of freckles and moles dotted his two helpings of brow.

“It’s good to meet you, T-Tara. I hope your ride was nice,” Roland offered. 

Tara wasn’t confident in how to respond. His odd breathing before words caught her off guard, and her skin went hot as she searched for words of her own. 

“I like your coat,” he added. 

Tara gave him a cool nod. “A pleasure.”

She kept her features still as she examined him. Ms. Ash and the others glanced between the two soundless ascendants. Tara found herself wishing, not for the last time, that she were alone. She took in a breath and shot the Architect a pleading look. 

“Well, there will be plenty of time for you to become acquainted later,” called Architect Blanchet. “We should be going, or we’ll miss dinner!” 

Roland’s face beamed again at the mention of food.

As the caravan headed east, Tara situated herself alone at its tail. 

She watched Roland Ward as he made small talk with each of the menhir servants and the Architect. After their second afternoon stop, it seemed it was her turn for Roland’s attentions. Tara spotted his approach and spared him a feeble smile. A huge grin split his face. Tara looked away, suppressing a sigh. 

“How’s your ride going?” he called, drawing his mount beside hers.

“Fine,” she replied. She studied the apple orchards lining the north side of the road. She wished to be alone, but she didn’t want to appear heartless either. At least, not before she had a better measure of Roland.

 

Roland grinned at her. “You seem like you m-might be thinking about something important.”

Tara did not answer. He hadn’t really posed a question.

“Maybe you’re worried about your aptitudes?” he asked. His face twisted up with concern, which only made Tara want to vanish even more. Was he pitying her? “I w-worry about mine too. My family says 

that’s normal for ascendants.”

Tara rolled a shoulder to relieve some tension from the long ride and insipid conversation.

“Do you think you’ll be like the rest of your f-family?”Tara sighed. “Whatever do you mean?” 

The boy’s eyebrows shot up. “I mean . . . you know,” he stumbled. “With your aptitudes.” 

“You are not making sense,” Tara replied, with a bit more iciness than she intended.

“I mean, the aptitudes we’re supposed to learn at the menhir,” he clarified. “The th-th-thaumaturgical kinds.”

Tara turned away from him and suppressed another sigh. “My bloodline is strong. I will develop the same aptitudes as my mother, grandmother, and so on. It is why I am here.” 

Roland scrunched up his face. “You’ve never thought it might work out different?”

“No, Roland,” she assured him. “My family has transmitted their aptitudes with absolute fidelity. Our records go back thousands of years. Ask Architect Blanchet to see them, if you’re doubtful.” 

He blinked at that. Perhaps he was worried for himself? Perhaps he wanted to develop a sense of solidarity with her? Tara could not be sure. 

“S-some ascendants show different aptitudes than their parents,” said Roland. “I’ve heard some ascendants don’t show any thaumaturgical aptitudes at all.”

Tara had never heard of one of the Wards being denied full admission to the menhir for thaumaturgical barrenness, though the phenomenon was not unheard of. Still, Roland’s concern suggested his lineage might not be as firm as his family projected.

“I suspect those kinds of ascendants stem from poor developmental environments. That is not the case with the Langcraw line,” said Tara, letting an edge creep into her voice. “Do you have any other personal questions for me?”

He barreled on, “Will you really live forever?”

Tara groaned, then hated herself for doing so. “Nobody knows how long they will live, Roland. Not you, not me. I may be thrown from this horse and sever my spine. We could be killed by bandits from the Independent Cities. It’s the same for all of us.” 

She gave him a stony look, hoping his curiosity might be stayed. “Not like that.” He chuckled. “I mean, you know, if nothing bad happens to you, won’t you just go on living?” No one had ever conveyed to Tara how the typical noble knew about the Tilters of the Hourglass. Larus seemed to understand the gist. Langcraw servants had to. Generations of servants grew and died, While Eva Langcraw remained unchanged. It was not the sort of thing people overlooked.

“You’ve g-got to tell me!” Roland pleaded. He sounded like a child.

“Not exactly,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Assuming I manifest the aptitudes of the Tilters, I will age slower than most, but parts of me will age more than others.” 

Tara scowled at herself. She hadn’t meant to reveal the last bit. How soon she forgot her mother’s warnings. 

“What about you?” she parried.

“Oh,” he replied with a shrug, “my f-family are farmers. We’re Weavers of the web through and through.”

Seeming satisfied with the fruits of his interrogation, Roland took to ferreting out bits of lunch from his teeth with his tongue. When that failed, he made obnoxious sucking sounds to excavate the stubborn bits. After a long while at that, Roland turned his attention back to Tara.

 

About the Author

JONATHAN N. PRUITT

The Amber Menhir, book one of The Shadows of the Monolith series, marks the
debut of high fantasy author Jonathan N. Pruitt. A lifelong educator who has
taught around the world, Pruitt enjoys spinning spellbinding tales of dark
magic and political intrigue. When not toiling away on writing projects,
Pruitt can be found traversing about the great outdoors. For more
information, visit www.TheShadowsoftheMonolith.com.

 

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The Amber Menhir Blitz

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The Shadows of the Monolith: Book One

 

Fantasy, Grimdark Fantasy, Horror, Satire, Politics

Date Published: October 3, 2023

Publisher: Spinner Loom Press

 

photo add-to-goodreads-button_zpsc7b3c634.png

 

“A GRIPPING DARK FANTASY THAT IMMERSES YOU IN A WORLD OF DEADLY POWER
POLITIC AND CORRUPTION.”  Richard Moriarty – The Sun

 

With each new dawn, the celestial body known only as ‘Calamity’
draws closer – and with it the end of the world. Humanity’s only
hope from oblivion rests in the menhirs, towering bastions of scholarship
and imagination which cast long shadows across the lands. The scholars
within the menhirs devote themselves selflessly to the discovery of new
magic that will help avert the impending apocalypse … or so the
masses have been made to understand.

  In a society divided between those with occult potential and lay
citizens, Tara Langcraw is recruited into the Amber Menhir with great
interest. The long-awaited heiress of a bloodline bearing the rarest of the
six magical disciplines, time manipulation, she is expected to flourish
within this noble citadel of learning, as are her friends and fellow
recruits, Roland Ward and Peony Bianchi.

They soon find, however, that those who fail to meet expectations, or who
dare to challenge the prevailing order, put more than their marks on the
line. For the menhir squirms with rivalries, and those who stand against the
status quo may not stand for very long.

 

JONATHAN N. PRUITT

The Amber Menhir, book one of The Shadows of the Monolith series, marks the
debut of high fantasy author Jonathan N. Pruitt. A lifelong educator who has
taught around the world, Pruitt enjoys spinning spellbinding tales of dark
magic and political intrigue. When not toiling away on writing projects,
Pruitt can be found traversing about the great outdoors. For more
information, visit www.TheShadowsoftheMonolith.com.

 

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Boulong’s Cheese Blitz

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Humor, Comedy, Satire

Published: September 30, 2021

Publisher: Black Rose Writing

 

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The introduction of a successful vaccine against Covid has produced the
unintended side effect of rendering all gunpowder in the world inert. Every
weapon from a six-shooter to an atom bomb is now useless. However, on a
fifty-seven-acre island in the middle of the Doubs River that divides France
and Switzerland, a dairy farmer’s prized cheese spread has gone into short
supply and the world is about to go to war over its loss.

 

“Boulong’s Cheese” is spitfire humor, biting satire, and just
what the world needs now that the end of the pandemic is in sight. It pits
the Queen of England against the new, bald President of the United States,
and gives the Pope a way out of an embarrassing video. All the while,
Boulong, the producer of the world’s most desired dairy products,
tries to deal with his pregnant girlfriend and missing son.

Boulong's Cheese tablet, paperback

About the Author

Ricky Ginsburg

Ricky Ginsburg is one of those writers who sees a flock of birds heading
south for the winter and wonders what they talk about on their journey. His
portfolio consists of nearly 400 short stories, more than half of which have
found their way into various magazines, both paper and electronic, and seven
novels, half by Black Rose Writing and the other half self-published. While
much of his writing has elements of magical realism and humor, he also has a
serious side, but keeps it in a small plexiglass box under his desk.

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Snatch 2&20 Blitz

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A Satirical Romp through the Wall Street and Silicon Valley Swamps

Satire, Literary Fiction

Published: April 2020

 

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Would you sell your soul to a sociopathic hedge fund titan for tens of
millions in dirty cash? What about your sexy wife? What if it meant cozying
up to a neurotic and lecherous tech entrepreneur while risking your freedom,
and maybe even your life?

Snatch 2&20 is a satirical memoir parodying the author’s past
life as a hedge fund manager. It should not only be of interest to the fans
of the hit TV shows Billions and Silicon Valley, and books like The Wolf of
Wall Street and Liar’s Poker, but to anyone who wants an
insider’s take on the rotten core of our delusional plutocracy in this
second Gilded Age.

If you just say no to innuendo, then please enter with caution (as the
strumpet said to the stiff). But just remember that, in this case, the only
thing more offensive than the jokes is the truth they pillory- the
corruption of our financial elites and the system that enables them, the
ludicrous hype surrounding technology companies and their founders, and the
blatant hypocrisy of pretty much everyone. It is also, perhaps, one
man’s journey to find a grain of meaning in the castle of sand that is
his life.

 

Snatch 2&20 tablet

Praise for Snatch 2&20:

 “Snatch 2&20″ is a remarkable debut novel by Luke
Fellows and one I highly recommend. If you’re looking for an entertaining
escape and enjoy a little zing in your reads, this one scores off the charts
in originality, entertainment value and excellent writing. Well done…Among
the top stories I’ve read so far this year.” – Reader Views

“A raucous story told by a brilliant mind becomes something both
satirical and insightful in Snatch 2&20 by Luke Fellows…the novel
sings like a satirical sword cutting through the worlds of finance and the
realms of human folly, making Snatch 2&20 a timely caper that is both
amusing and insightful from start to finish.” -Self-Publishing Review.
4 stars out of 5.

“In this gloriously sardonic book…the descriptions and dialogue are
consistently pithy and snarky…Overall, this novel will be a riotous ride
for readers…Fast-paced and often hilarious fiction” – Kirkus
Reviews

“Complex, witty, dramatic, thought-provoking, and filled with business
and social inspection…Snatch 2&20 is engrossing, unexpected, and hard
to put down…” -Midwest Book Review

“Snatch 2&20 is just wild enough to support its destructive,
incongruously wholesome conclusion…a clever, cynical novel about the
absurdities of capitalism and the people who prop it up.” 4 Stars out
of 5- Foreword Clarion Reviews.

About the Author

 Luke Fellows is a forty-something recovering hedge fund manager. Born in
London, and educated at St. Paul’s School and Oxford University, he
sacrificed his love of Classics for a Wall Street career, moving to New York
City in 2000. After a sojourn at Harvard Business School, he made the leap
to Silicon Valley, where, in 2008, he co-founded a technology-focused hedge
fund, retiring as soon as his partners could practicably get rid of him.
Despite his best efforts to escape the bubble, he still lives with his wife
and three daughters near Palo Alto, CA. Snatch 2&20 is the first novel
he is admitting to.

 

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