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Madame Howell’s Book of Very Bad Things Blitz

 

Madame Howell’s Book of Very Bad Things cover


The Books of Very Bad Things: Vol. 1

 

Fairy Tales, Fantasy, Horror

 

Date Published: Dec. 1, 2020

 

Publisher: DCL Publications

Journey into a land of fairy tales like none you’ve ever experienced before with this baker’s dozen of original and often horrific fanciful treats! Madame Howell, the world’s greatest witch, will lead you through some of the most unique journeys into the Enchanted Forest, through great castles and villages, and even into uncanny realms of newly imagined dangers in her ‘Book of Very Bad Things.’ Featuring many elements from classical fairy tales while paying homage to the imaginations of the Brothers Grimm, this deliciously sinister volume delivers its own unique versions of true love and the all important ‘happily ever after.’ Within, you’ll discover dark changelings, wicked queens, houses of snakes, disobedient children, the world’s tiniest people, vicious goblins and dwarfs, a baker with a taste for blood, and so much more. Settle back and fall under the wicked spell of this dastardly and mesmerizing journey into the darkest realms of fairy tales and folklore.

Excerpts

 

From the story ‘The Woman with Wings’

Once upon a summer afternoon, a brother and sister went frolicking in the woods, in search of berries and wildflowers. Their parents were long dead, and so it was up to them to scavenge for their food every day. They enjoyed making games of it, like chasing one another through the winding forest paths or even pelting each other with berries that were rotten on the stems.

It was raining on this particular afternoon, and the siblings became wet and muddy as they played and hunted their food and foliage.

Sister,” the brother called in warning as she glided swiftly across the slick mud, “ye shouldn’t run so fast near there! That hill be steep!”

Bah!” she squealed, giggled, and spun around in a circle. “It’s lovely to slip and slide! Join me!” She squealed again and spun once more. Then, she lost her footing and tumbled backward. Brother watched as she fell off the ledge, tumbling down the hill.

Sister!” he shouted and then slipped and slid his way to her in a hurried but cautious manner. “Sister, are ye alright?”

Brother looked over the ledge, staring down as he watched his sister roll to the foot of the hill. He began after her but came to a pause as a winged creature swooped down from the sky and gathered Sister into its grip. In the blink of an eye, the creature swooped upward again with Sister in tow.

Sister!” he cried out again and watched as the creature carried his sister to the great forbidden mountain, which was a good day’s trek away by foot.

Distraught, the brother contemplated how to save his twin sister. He knew he would have to venture to the forbidden mountain and climb its dangerous terrain. Once he found his sister, he would also find the creature that had taken her. Surely, a battle would ensue. Before going after his sister, he had to be well prepared.

From the story ‘Jacob and the People Tree’

Today, for the first time, he decided to bypass that lovely and relaxing stone. He wasn’t by any means tired or ready to relax or nap. He felt energized and chipper, and he was surrounded by his woodland friends… his only friends, but friends who welcomed him into their domain with seemingly open arms.

Oiko, doiko, ba dunk dunk dunk,” he sang cheerfully to himself as he strolled down the path – a path that grew narrower the further he walked. “Watch out for the stinky skunk!” It was a silly song he sang – one he’d made up long ago on a walk such as this, where he’d encountered a skunk that fortunately hadn’t stunk.

As the path grew narrower and the forest thicker, everything became darker – shrouded in shadows. Several of the flowers and plants nearby glowed when shadowed, and they helped to make the scenery more mystical and brighter. Never before had he seen such glowing plants as these. They were remarkable and glowed softly in a vast array of color. He knelt down to one such flower and sniffed it, wondering if it smelled as marvelous as it looked. It was, indeed, the sweetest scent he’d inhaled in perhaps forever.

He stood and sighed. It felt like he’d found a sort of nirvana – a land of beauty and wonder. It was so magical that he yearned to bring a part of its splendor home with him. Crouching down once more, he leaned to the flower he’d sniffed and started to pluck it.

I wouldn’t do that if I were ye,” he heard a voice say. It startled him, and Jacob unhanded the flower and stood upright.

Turning around, he looked for the voice’s source but saw no one. Deciding it had been nothing more than his imagination playing some tomfoolery on him, he shrugged it off and turned back to the flower.

Ye should never pick anything from here,” the voice spoke again, and once more, Jacob turned around to see its speaker.

Again, there was nobody.

Perhaps I am going mad,” he contemplated aloud and then chuckled. “Ah well… being so lonely can do that to a man, I imagine.”

Mad!” another voice noted, mimicking what Jacob had said. Whilst the first voice had sounded male, this one sounded like the voice of an old woman. “Ye will know mad if ye pick one flower from this path!”

Who said that?” Jacob asked, looking all around. Still, he saw no one. For a moment, he considered he was hearing the voices of ghosts, but if a ghost was going to speak, surely it would have shown itself. “Where are ye?”

Everything was quiet again as he sought for the mysterious voices. He looked all around and even down low, but he could find nobody. When he was about to give up in his search and leave this place behind, he heard giggling from above.

From the story ‘The Baker’s Dozen’

He lifted her into his arms and carried her up the road to the bakery. Once they were inside, he sat her on a stool and grabbed some cloths from the back. With one of the cloths, he cleaned the blood from the wound. The other, he tied around her leg, putting pressure on the cut and stopping the bleeding.

Oh, Mister Baker, I do not know how to thank thee,” she said to him as he stepped away to throw the bloody rag into a pile with other dirty rags. “I cannot imagine anyone else showing me such kindness.”

He noticed he’d gotten some of her blood on his fingers as he’d cleaned the wound. He stared at his fingers for a moment and then rubbed the blood between them. Coyly, he sniffed them. The blood had a unique scent to it – one that he’d never really thought of before. Curiously, he licked a bit from a finger and tasted it. It was surprisingly sweet and delicious.

I do not know what I would have done had ye not come around,” the young woman continued from the front room. “Everything felt so dire! Ye be a saving grace for certain!”

Think nothing of it,” he said slowly and almost too lowly for her to hear as he looked at the remaining blood on his fingers. Swiftly, he licked the rest away. “Ye may need to have that sewn up.”

It will be fine,” she replied as he stepped back into the room. “I have come to accept some things.” She smiled. Her words were curious, but he thought she was lovely, even if she did have a few additional cuts and scabs on her face and hands. Her blood was immaculate though… delicious.

Nourishment first,” he told her and took a piece of pound cake from his counter top and handed it to her. “Eat this. Ye must be hungry.”

How gracious!” the peasant exclaimed and accepted the pound cake. A moan slipped from her lips as she ate it.

Also from the counter, the baker took his bread knife. While the woman was distracted with her treat, he came around behind her and pulled her hair back. The knife sliced through her neck before she had a chance to make a sound. When she did try to scream, it was low and gargled.

From the story ‘A Heart Unfrozen’

At the moment, the Queen sat upon her ‘traveling throne’ on the platform that stood as a political stage in the center of the village square. Two young lovebirds stood before her, each with a guard positioned behind them. They were guilty of kissing behind the castle and had been caught by Mathavious, Queen Estella’s most entrusted guard.

I see no use in debating this matter,” the Queen said to the charged. “Ye shall lose yer heads. Guards!” She looked toward the uniformed men standing behind prisoners. “Take them to the chopping blocks!”

The executioner’s chopping blocks sat several meters away from where the Queen was currently perched on the platform. Nearly everyone in the village was present for the event, as it was mandatory for many who were in attendance. The platform itself had been built in such a way that no matter how an execution was performed, it could in some way be seen by anyone and everyone, from presumably any angle.

As expected, the accused protested their sentencing, but Queen Estella had heard it all before. Every sob story – every excuse plausible. None were forgivable, as she had made blatantly clear over the years. Her rules were not to be broken, and those who did were subject to punishment.

The young man and his young female lover were forced down onto the chopping blocks, and one by one, the royal executioner silenced their pleas as he chopped off their heads.

Down to the audience, the heads rolled. For a moment, they stared up at the spectators and blinked repeatedly until their brains finally died. Then, their expressions went still – frozen in time.

Would anyone else care to lose their head today?” Queen Estella asked in a loud and enthusiastic tone as she stood tall and prominently. “I would like enjoy my midday tea as quickly as possible, so please… do speak now if ye have done anything blatantly unforgiving. I will not be so kind and yer deaths will not be so swift if I find out someone is withholding their guilt.”

About the Author

Madame Howell’s Book of Very Bad Things author photo


When the muses speak, Jae El Foster writes, and he has been doing so for nearly twenty years, tackling some of the most intriguing genres out there. Delivering fresh, incomparable tales of horror, science fiction, and romance – sweet or spicy – he pens with seasoned skill the tales that his muses deliver to him. His bestselling works include the paranormal romance ‘Restless,’ the gothic horror tale ‘Where the Demon Is,’ and the gay holiday romance ‘Only at Christmas.’ Follow him on Instagram @jaeelbooks and ‘like’ him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/authorjaeelfoster.

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Rise of One Blitz

 

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Blood Brute, Book One

Paranormal Post-Apocalyptic, Science Fiction, Fantasy

Release Date: December 15, 2020

Publisher: Thunderloft Press

To Face the Apocalypse One Must Rise….

When a zombie apocalypse ravages the world, head vampire Rise rescues human survivors to feed his coven. But apocalypse survivors are not the type to be merely food. Nor could they ever befriend the coven’s lone human, the beautiful and pampered Cypriot.

When Warwolves, an ancient order of vampire hunters, infiltrate the rescued survivors, Rise resolves to purge all threats to his vampire race. The world, although decimated, seems ripe for rule. Rise could set history on a new path, with the rise of one individual.

#RiseofOne #BloodBrute #DixonReuel #Vampires #Zombies #BookBuzz

 

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Other Books in the Blood Brute Series:

 

Finding Home cover

 

Finding Home

Blood Brute, Prequel

Published: October 2020

Publisher: Thunderloft Press

Vampires. Zombies. World War I.

Get Ready for a Paranormal Post-Apocalyptic Adventure Unlike Any Other.

In this ground-breaking prequel to the series “Blood Brute”, Dixon Reuel takes you on an exciting journey, filled with horror scenes, excitements and long-lasting thrills.

Those are the early days of World War I, and there’s chaos everywhere.

Rise and Cypriot are looking for a new shelter, after they had to abandon their safe home in England.

Finding a new home is a hard challenge for an underground vampire – but someone out there is willing to sell his house to a specific type of buyer…

On their way to their new suggested house, an interesting guest joins them. But once they arrive, their simple journey gets filled with shocking kills, tasty blood, gun shots, and much, much more –

Get ready to dive into a shocking story, full of action, horror, and ground-breaking plot that will leave your mouth open all throughout the read!

Finding Home’ is a must read for Blood Brute fans – and an amazing read for any post-apocalyptic fiction lovers – guaranteed.

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Finding Home cover

 

Fall of Two

Blood Brute, Book Two

Release Date: October 18, 2021

Publisher: Thunderloft Press

The Vampire Rise awakens to a new world…

Coming 2021!

Amazon

About the Author

Irish award-winning and best-selling writer, Eve Power writes as Dixon Reuel and is the author of the Post-Apocalyptic Paranormal series, Blood Brute.

Dixon lives in Dublin, Ireland and holds a First in History & Early Irish Studies and another First in Creative Writing. She is a lifelong nerd and devoted hobbyist of cosplay, video games, and other surely worthwhile pursuits.

Dixon cannot stand monkeys or phone calls, and to receive a phone call from King Kong would definitely be her greatest fear.

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The Tannhäuser Blitz

 

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Alternative History, Fantasy

 

Published: August 2020

Publisher: Virtualbookworm.com Publishing

The Tannhäuser, a legendary knight, poet, and lover, roams through an adventurous life.

Wikerus, a young German noble joins the Teutonic Order of knights and fights in the Fifth Crusade. He meets the Swan Knight, the sworn protector of the Holy Grail, and becomes his steward. After the crusade, Wikerus lives in a secluded Bavarian valley with the Swan Knight’s family. He finds love and fear, bliss and more war. He escapes his previous life and roams the Holy Roman Empire as a philosopher, poet, and minnesänger, giving birth to the legend of the Tannhäuser.

 

The Tannhäuser tablet, phone, paperback

 

About The Author


Stefan Scheuermann has degrees in History and Literature. He has taught English Composition at his local university. His writing spans multiple genres in fiction and non-fiction, from comparative language and biography to alternative history and historical fiction/fantasy. His fiction aspires to demonstrate the fantastical nature of real human lives and show how thin the line can be between history and fantasy.

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Void of Power Blitz

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New Generation

 

Science Fiction, Fantasy

Published: April 2020

Publisher: Indies United Publishing House

The Void belongs to everyone and belongs to no one. Because of the Cultural War Treaty, the federal government or any agent under their control cannot enter the Void. Ruled for nearly sixty by gangs and drug cartels, the “settlers” of the Void must live by their wits and their skill at arms.

Raised by scientists who had been sequestered in an underground complex in the Texas panhandle, the Walsh family employs their genius and talents to forever change the quality of life for the citizens of the Void using technologies far beyond the imagination of ordinary people.

When government forces enter the Void on a capture-or-kill mission which has targeted two extraordinarily gifted children, they run headlong into this family of geniuses and Texas Rangers who dedicate themselves to protect the children. The feds soon realize that they are mice attempting to capture one very mean, intelligent cat. The stakes must be raised. Lives are lost. War ensues.

Void of Power tablet, phone, paperback

 

About the Author

Born in Houston, Texas, Andrew was raised in a family of seven brothers. Most of the action and adventure that dominated his young life was that which sprang from the imaginations of the brothers Raiford. Since there was no limit to the stories they could create through their play-acting, it was not uncommon to have Daniel Boone not only be attacked by bears or red-coats, but also Nazis and/or extraterrestrial conquerors. Imaginative eight-year-olds care nothing for history.

During his young adult years, Andrew took on some very odd jobs to keep his young family fed. For two years he was a real cowboy who rode and roped and pushed cattle on a large ranch nestled in the snow-capped mountains of northern California. After moving back to his home state of Texas he worked in the printing business as a journeyman pressman, and later in gun sales and corporate security.

Andrew even worked in church ministry for ten years during the period that he and his wife raised five talented children. They would later become the inspiration for Andrew’s first novel, Void of Power – New Generation, which surprisingly contains no Nazis or extraterrestrial invaders.

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Bollywood Invasion Blitz

 

 

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Fantasy, Alternative History 

 

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Brooklyn boy reincarnates as John Lennon in 1958.

Can he escape Lennon’s tragic fate?

Modern-day Brooklyn boy John Palmieri is hit by a bus, what a coincidence, and he wakes up as the prince of a royal family in India, 1958! In this distant past, where the Beatles does not exist, he finds love and sex, and eventually conquers the world with the Beatles’ songs in his memory. One day in 1980, he runs into a man named Mark Chapman and realizes that fate is pulling him towards something he knows is coming…but cannot easily escape.

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 Excerpt 

 

Intro 

Imagine you’re sixteen, and living in Brooklyn, being bullied by every kid who’s bigger than you. Then, BAM! You wake up as a young prince in 1958 India. Suddenly, you find yourself with riches and power beyond your wildest fantasies. This is how your journey starts in Bollywood Invasion, which uniquely blends Indian cultural experience, time-travel and the legendary songs from the Beatles.

Brooklyn is readily forgotten. Life becomes a constant stream of debauchery, coming to a stand-still only when you meet “the one.” However, love doesn’t come easy. You must become a better man and you decide to sing your way into her heart with the songs based on your memory of vintage Beatles music. One night, you come to the lawn outside her dormitory building to ask her out, for the last time…

Hey Raj 

Ankita! Ankita!” 

At eleven in the night, Ankita woke up to a familiar voice calling her name outside her dorm. “Not again!” she groaned as she crawled from under the covers.

Why don’t you write a song for me too? I am not that bad!” 

Ankita could hear the banter outside. She walked to the door but could not open it. Priyanka must be in the building, she thought.

Ankita!” 

Raj stood on the lawn exactly where he had the last time he was there.

I wrote another song, especially for you!” 

Ankita opened the door and saw Raj standing next to Arun with his acoustic guitar. “Raj, please leave,” she begged.

Not until you’ve heard this!” Arun started playing a tune on his guitar and the entire dorm fell quiet. 

Hey Raj, don’t make it bad …” https://youtu.be/vxv_6YDOqvs

He never took his eyes off her the entire time that he sang Hey You, his parody of Hey Jude. Had she always been this beautiful?

Hey Raj, don’t be afraid …” 

Who the hell is singing at this ungodly hour!” the matron shouted from somewhere. Raj continued to sing, not flinching at all. Arun, on the other hand, was not feeling as confident as Raj.

Raj, we should go!” 

I am going to break every single one of your bones, you rascal!”

Raj, run! She will catch you!” yelled Ankita.

Raj smiled. She cared about him.

He continued to sing.

 “It’s you again!” The matron was on the lawn now, brandishing a large broom in her hand ominously. 

Raj, we should go!” 

Keep playing! Na nanananana!” 

He started running, the matron after him.

I am done here,” said Arun and ran away into the darkness.

Na nanananana!” Raj continued to sing while running around in circles in the lawn, the matron closing in. Some of the girls watching the moment unfold started singing with him. “Na nanananana!” 

Raj, what are you doing?” yelled Ankita. “Go back!”

Na nanananana!” The entire dorm building sang.

I…love…you…Ankita!” he shouted as he ran, his breath running out. “Give…me…a…chance!”

I am going to break your legs, YOU RASCAL!” The matron flung the broom at Raj. 

Na nanananana!” 

For god’s sake, run! I will go out with you! Just once! Go now!”

The entire dorm building erupted.

I love you, Ankita!” said Raj as he broke into a run. “Na nanananana!” he continued to sing as he disappeared into the darkness. 


About the Author


Ricardo Alexanders is the author of Bollywood Invasion and The Last Resistance: Dragon Tomb. He lives in Massachusetts, enjoys music, and loves to write time-travel stories that blend fantasy, science, and real history.

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