Everybody Loves Polar Bears Virtual Book Tour

Everybody Loves Polar Bears cover

 Book 1 of the Polar Paired Series

 

Romance Enemies to Lovers

Date Published: December 19, 2023

Publisher: Avoca Press

 

 

Expect the unexpected when it comes to love under the Aurora skies.

 

In the frosty mayhem of the Alaskan film set for Everybody Loves Polar
Bears
, accident-prone Macy Applegate catapults herself into a hilarious
array of mishaps better suited for a blooper reel. As Macy dreams of
stardom, she reluctantly works with Nick Westwood, the grumpiest and most
arrogant assistant director this side of the Arctic Circle—a man who
irritates her more than a stuck zipper in a sub-zero wind chill.

Beneath Nick’s stoic exterior lies a mysterious secret, and the only thing
more challenging than Alaska’s winter is these two trying to get along for
longer than a commercial break. Macy is a walking disaster in matters of the
heart, and Nick is fed up with shallow relationships. But fate has a
penchant for mischief when Nick transforms from Macy’s nemesis to her
off-screen hero, chipping away at the permafrost around her heart. Should
she give this guy a chance or continue wishing on the magical aurora
borealis for perfect love?

In this hilarious romantic comedy, where polar bears play supporting roles
and love takes center stage
, Macy and Nick navigate a situation as
unpredictable as Macy’s on-set blunders. If you swooned through The Proposal
and chuckled at The Hating Game…and if you have a soft spot for polar
bears…get ready for laughter in this heartwarming tale of unexpected
love!

Enemies to lovers

Celebrity romance

Grumpy sunshine

Strong woman, alpha male

Forced proximity

Polar bear love

Snowbound Alaskan cabin

Northern lights

Polar plunges

 

 Everybody Loves Polar Bears standing book

EXCERPT

A tall, neon life-size Barbie hurried toward them, long blonde curls springing up and down like miniature slinkies. Victoria Miracle approached in all her glittery goose-down glory, a fusion of glamor and frostbite protection, reminding Macy of a disco-themed northern lights display. Winter seemed to follow her around like a trusty sidekick, along with her entourage of three scurrying behind her.

Macy got a kick out of The Talent and how they expected everyone to dote on them and cater to their every need. Victoria’s demeanor was a stark contrast to the independent nature of women Macy knew in Alaska. She’d read about the coddled movie star stereotype, and here was one in the flesh.

“Make this quick. I’m freezing my tush off.” The movie star’s frosty breaths puffed out of her like a high-speed locomotive. 

As Victoria strategically positioned herself next to the pond, Macy couldn’t help but imagine her strutting down the runway of a 1960s psychedelic fashion show. Her flashy style was part Picasso, part Gucci, and all sass. Victoria stood out in this winter wonderland like a burst of disco in a snow globe. 

Macy bet Victoria never met a camera she didn’t like.

The animal handler stood by, holding a long leash attached to the little polar bear cub. He gingerly placed the leash in Victoria’s hand, mumbling instructions to hold on tight.

The fish-out-of-water movie star gave Macy a critical up-and-down assessment. “Are you from here? Have you been around bears?”

Macy shrugged. “I know what to do around black and brown bears.”

Victoria gave her a look of appraisal. “Good enough for me.” She called out to Zippo. “Keep this bear woman next to me at all times.” A makeup artist appeared, dabbing lip gloss on Victoria’s already shiny lips and arranging her flawlessly spiraled curls. The artist hurried off again.

Zippo ordered the animatronics operator to dunk Mother Snowflake. The operator slowly lowered the crane, placing the fake bear into the water. “We’ll edit the crane out later,” he announced to no one in particular.

 “Vicky, say your lines, then squat next to the little bear and deliver the rest. And don’t scare him,” directed Zippo from his perch on the crane arm. “We need a tender moment, with Fake Mother Snowflake watching.”

Macy couldn’t help herself. “Excuse me, hate to keep interrupting, but that wouldn’t happen in real life. The mother bear would attack the human to protect her cub. She wouldn’t just hang out and watch.”

“This isn’t real life. It’s the movies,” Zippo said flippantly. “We do what we want in a movie. Now, can we get on with this, please? It’s a tad nippy out here, and I’d like to get this done, if you don’t mind.” He turned away to talk on his headset.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” mumbled Macy.

Victoria chortled. “Love your style, Bear Woman,” she purred.

Zippo cocked a brow. “Are we ready now, ladies?” He turned to the crane operator. “Lower the fake Mother Snowflake into the water. Quiet, everyone. Rolling. Marker!” He peered through his camera monitor.

A woman held up a black-and-white clapboard in front of the camera. Zippo nodded at the red digital readout. “Scene fourteen. Take one!” 

The person snapped it and hurried away.

Zippo pointed at the extras. “Background, action! Victoria, go!” 

While Macy and her merry band of extras gathered around Victoria, the drunk guy holding Macy’s prop news camera suddenly stumbled.

“Where’s my news reporter? Oh! There you are,” he slurred, beholding the glorious Victoria. “Hey, you wanna see my oosik?” He swung his camera and bumped the unsuspecting bear cub on the head.

“Your what?” Victoria wrinkled her face just as the frightened cub bawled and ran in circles around her, wrapping his leash tightly around her legs.

“Get this savage beast away from me!” she yelled. Her legs lashed together as she teetered toward the icy water. “Somebody! Get this leash off me!”

Macy sprinted forward. Her ninja-like reflexes prevented Victoria from tumbling off the edge, but in the process, Macy slipped on the ice-crusted snow. Her feet fought for traction, but it was a losing battle. She lost her balance and flailed wildly, teetering backwards. Arms spinning like windmills, she failed to restore equilibrium and executed a flawless butt-first plunge into the chilly water, like a clumsy duck on a crash landing.

 

 

About the Author

LoLo Paige

LoLo Paige is an award-winning author in both romantic comedy and romantic
suspense. She’s been honored with several awards, including an RWA
chapter award for her romantic comedy, Hello Spain, Goodbye Heart. Irish
Thunder and Everybody Loves Polar Bears are her recent rom-coms published in
2024. Her romantic suspense books have topped Amazon bestseller lists in the
U.S., Canada, and Australia, and Publishers Weekly has featured her books in
their Booklife section. Her second book, Alaska Inferno, was a finalist for
best indie romance in the 2022 Kindle Book Review Awards.

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The Gnome and the Seedlings Blitz

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The Gnome and the Seedlings cover

Illustrated by: Angel Neha

Children’s Book

Date Published: February 27, 2024

Publisher: Mindstir Media

 

This short story is about a mother wanting balance for her children. She
wants her children to spend more time outdoor exercising, running and having
fun. One weekend mom encouraged her children to stop playing video games and
streaming movies while sitting on the couch and spend some time in the local
National Park. While at the park the children, Nathan and his sister, met a
mythical and magical Gnome, named Gob. Gob the Gnome explained to the
children what his role is at the National Park, and how to plant seeds to
grow trees.

I chose to add a Gnome as one of the main characters because since the
1400s, folklore has described Gnomes as guards of treasure and the protector
of earth. Gnomes represents stability, growth and Good Luck. My six children
books all revolve around a Gnome, the protector of a local forest who became
friends with Nathan and Iris.

About the Author

Marilyn Slaughter

Marilyn Slaughter is an educator with experience teaching second through
fifth grades, middle school science, and social studies. She now spends time
authoring books for children and adults for engagement, learning, and
entertainment. Marilyn’s first six books are a set with the theme of
children, with their families enjoying the outdoors; and with teachers and
classmates learning about the environment. The children are introduced to a
magical and mythical being in the forest and they work to save the local
forest. Her goal is to provide a fun read with an entertaining way for
children to learn about science.

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No Way Back: The Underworlds Virtual Book Tour

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No Way Back: The Underworlds cover

The Underworlds, Book 1

 

Science Fiction/ Fantasy

Date Published: April 3, 2024

 

 

A search for a way home becomes a journey into his father’s
past.

When an ancient Gate transports his son, Daniel, to another world, Denida
follows, thinking it will be an easy matter to bring his son home
safely.

As they travel from world to world, Denida starts to wonder just who he is
and why almost everyone knows more about him than he does about
himself.

At home, his wife and friends send a robot to follow Denida’s tracks
but treachery undermines their efforts.

Through magic, betrayal, and Darkness Denida fights his way toward home,
it’s no longer a matter of missing his wife but of preserving his home
and all the Underworlds from evil.

 

No Way Back: The Underworlds tablet

EXCERPT

Chapter 1- A Strange New World

Winter, a new beginning for the Underworld, a season that would change everything forever. Dan, a scientist, had been experimenting on a mysterious Gate in the Underworld. When his close friend Denida had first discovered the structure, following the war with the Dark Angels, Dan didn’t think much of it. “It’s just some ancient construction,” he had said. Who would’ve thought it was made of an unknown alloy? Dan now smiled down at all the chemicals he had used to try to stain the material to identify it. None of them even reacted with it, but it’s cold, like metal. He eyed the towering, two-story Gate. There’s something special about it; I just know it.

Today, after his logbook’s twentieth recorded try, Dan flipped a switch, and the Gate lit up. Dan danced in excitement while his assistants laughed. I can’t wait to call Denida! He eyed the myriad power cords connected to the Gate with a chuckle. Three near electrocutions, and one downed power grid… He laughed. – but now, it’s finally perfect.

***

Denida stopped at the door of Dynasty, his mansion, as his cell phone vibrated.

“Denida?” Dan asked as Denida picked up the phone. “I made progress!”

“How so?” Denida glanced at his watch.

“I made a new discovery. You’ll want to see this.” 

Last time he called me about the Gate, it was to tell me that he found a way to connect it to a power source. Denida rolled his eyes. An hour later, they still had no idea how to turn it on.

“It’s important this time; I swear,” Dan spoke with that voice he only used when he was begging on his hands and knees, usually for additional funding. 

Sounds like it’s worth checking out this time. Denida bit his lip and sighed heavily. “Alright, I’ll stop by before I head into the office.” Denida hung up the phone, his heart beating a little faster with excitement. Maybe it’s something cool about the alloy. Dan told me it could have some amazing potential as an energy source.

Denida pocketed his phone, ready to hurry off, but Nina sat at the dining room table with slumped shoulders.

“Nina?” Denida sat down beside her. 

She faced him with a furrowed brow.

Denida’s heart sank. This must be serious; Nina’s always in control.

“Daniel,” she replied shortly, her bitter tone betraying a bit of frustration.

“What’s wrong? Where is he?”

Denida wanted to brush him off, but if Dan really had made a breakthrough with the Gate, it was too tempting to pass up.

“I don’t know, Denny. He’s always running around, up to no good.” Nina sighed and peered down at her tea. “This morning, he tried sneaking into the military headquarters and the Colonel called me to send the butler to pick him up.” 

Denida’s jaw tensed. Not good. “I will have a word with him after work. Dan insisted he has something imperative to show me now, before I head to headquarters. I must tend to that, now.” Denida kissed Nina goodbye. The grounds are huge, and Daniel knows every hiding place around Dynasty. Denida grunted. I’ll talk to him tonight.

***

Dan has something to show Dad? Daniel stood just outside of the room where his parents were talking, his back pressed up against the wall. Dad always tells Mom about Dan’s secret lab and some old Gate the height of the stables! I wonder if that’s what he wants to show Dad… 

Daniel sniffed. It does sounds interesting. Why should my dad have all the fun, again? He slowly tiptoed past the door, as his parents’ conversation continued. 

Outside, he spotted his dad’s car in front of Dynasty. He peeked around to make sure he was alone and ran over to the vehicle. He opened the trunk, smiling upon finding it unlocked. He climbed in and held the lid down, making sure it didn’t click shut. Maybe I can finally go on an adventure like the ones Dad always describes! 

He heard countless stories about Dan, his dad’s scientist friend, who had a secret lab and some ancient Gate. Daniel’s dad would always talk about that Gate when he didn’t think Daniel was around.

Denida approached the car within a few minutes. This is going to be so cool! Daniel trembled with excitement. His dad quickly set the car in drive. Daniel covered his mouth to suppress his giggles. They drove for so long that Daniel almost regretted hiding in the trunk. His elbows were becoming sore and red from the bumps in the road. Maybe they weren’t going anywhere interesting after all. That’d be such a bummer. The car finally halted briefly, drove a short distance farther, then stopped again. This time, the engine stopped humming. His dad stepped out and the vibration of his door slamming shut rattled the car. Daniel could hear his dad’s muffled voice. He’s talking to someone. What are they saying? 

Finally, two distinct sets of footsteps crunched away on the asphalt parking lot. Daniel climbed out of the trunk just in time to see his dad disappear into the building next to the car. Daniel ran toward it and jiggled the doorhandle, but it responded with unwavering resistance. Probably for the best. Daniel crossed his arms, rethinking his efforts. He would’ve most certainly been caught if he had used the common entrance. Daniel sighed. Maybe I missed the chance to explore this- He noticed a small window he could fit through, a short distance from the door.

When Daniel climbed through the window, he crouched and listened. Staying low to the ground, he followed his father’s voice around the corner, and saw his dad talking to Dan.

“It’s powered up, I see.”

Yes.” Dan nodded excitedly. “We can finally see what’s on the other side, but I’m not sure if it’s safe.” Dan scratched his head. “I mean, it’s been on for half an hour, and nothing’s come through, but we have no idea what’s on the other side.”

The Gate’s flickering lights and sparkling sheen looked so inviting that Daniel couldn’t help but sneak forward.

Daniel could see his dad and Dan, through the Gate. They rippled as if he were viewing them through water.

Enough hiding! Daniel clenched his fists, ready let his dad know he had tagged along. Maybe I can help somehow. Daniel jumped up and ran to his dad, taking the shortest route, which led right through the Gate. His Dad became increasingly clearer as he approached the Gate, but as soon as he ran through, a bright silvery light engulfed his vision.

***

“Dad!” a voice rang from across the room.

Denida turned to the Gate, just in time to see Daniel run into its portal. What’s Daniel doing here? The Gate buzzed loudly, and Daniel vanished. 

“Daniel!” Denida shouted. 

The Gate fell silent, and its lights dimmed. Denida’s heart sank, as cold terror filled him from the inside out. The shock of seeing Daniel vanish froze him in place, leaving him itchy all over with anxiety. Dan’s team ran to the Gate and tried to power it back on, but despite their best efforts, the Gate remained dark and quiet, like a massive monster that consumed its fill just before hibernation.

Denida opened his mouth, and the only words he could think of tumbled out. “We need…” He knew deep down what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t finish his sentence. His jaw clenched in defiance.

The tense atmosphere in the lab birthed an air of discomfort and silence. Nina had arrived in no time, following a call from Denida. If looks could kill, both Denida and Dan would have been dead on the floor. 

The assistants kept nervously peeking over at Nina’s face, in between failed attempts to restore power to the Gate. 

Nina bared her teeth, appearing even more furious than Denida, despite the rage in his eyes. “How could you let this happen?” Nina pointed at Dan. “This is your lab. And you!” She whipped around to Denida. “- you were so eager to play with your new toy that you couldn’t even check to make sure that your son was safe!”

“Look.” Dan raised his hands to fend off Nina. “I’ve got a device that should be able to control the Gate from the other side.” He handed Nina the device. It was about the size of a cell phone and had the same mysterious alloy as the Gate at its center.

“Why can’t you control it from this end?” Nina’s fingers curled into claws. “You should never have had it on, especially without a contingency plan.”

“The controller isn’t technically ready, yet.” Dan backed away from Nina. “We found it with the Gate, but haven’t had much time to test it.” He trembled, as though still prepared to retreat.

“Who knows where Daniel is now, or with whom. He is just twelve years old, a child!” Tears prickled Nina’s eyes, so she turned away and wiped her face on her sleeve.

“I will get him back; I promise.” Denida hugged Nina to try and calm her worries, but it did little to ease his own concerns. 

Nina turned back and nodded. The couple gazed deep into each other’s eyes, as they held a deep conversation without words. 

“This is purely experimental. We don’t know what’s on the other side, or if you can even get back through from the other side.” Dan stepped in between them and the Gate.

Denida frowned, ignoring him. Of course, it’s risky, but Daniel’s my son. What am I supposed to do, forget about him? The mental image of Daniel cold and scared pierced Denida’s mind and his body began to shake with concern.

The Gate buzzed, and all the lights flickered back on. 

“It’s back!” a lab assistant yelled.

“Showtime.” Denida darted over to the Gate. 

“I think we should send troops, too, just in case there are demons or militant forces on the other side.” Dan ran in front of Denida.

Denida paused midstride, listening to Dan, only to shake his head.

“No, we don’t have time to prepare the troops for a mission.” He hugged and kissed Nina tenderly. “I will bring Daniel back. You’ll see.” He smiled at her and took the controller from Nina.

“Wait.” Dan pointed to the controller. “That device is sensitive, so don’t touch it, unless you intend to use it. It has a cooldown period in between uses, so it’s important you don’t use it by accident.”

Denida paused, imagining being stuck in an unknown area with a faulty controller. “Dan, maybe you should call the Colonel,” Denida admitted. “I’ll be going on this adventure alone but having our colonel’s advice on standby could be helpful.” He smiled in Nin’s direction. “Watch over her, Dan.” Denida strode through the Gate. As soon as he vanished, it powered down, like it had after Daniel used it.

Denida found himself in a forested area on the other side of the Gate. He had almost expected to find green aliens chasing Daniel through a wasteland, but the aliens were a figment of his imagination, and the ground was so covered in leaves that it was impossible to see his son’s footsteps. Where could he be? The smartest decision would’ve been to stay right here. Denida scratched his head. Maybe he did stay a while, but gave up on waiting, after several hours passed. Denida decided to search the area. Have I been here before? This forest feels familiar. “Daniel!” he hollered repeatedly as he marched through the dense forest. “Where are you, Son?”

Denida stood still to collect his thoughts and realized that he could hear the distinct “whoosh” of cars passing by. He walked in the direction of the sound until he discovered a road. Maybe he approached the road to seek help?

When Denida reached the road, he stopped dead in his tracks. He saw a familiar symbol on a building across the highway.

enblem

Denida knelt behind a bush, staring at the insignia. He eyed the building for any clues that would justify the symbol’s existence. What is it doing here? I designed it myself after the war with the Dark Angels. He was sure he’d never seen it before the moment he drew it for Dan, yet this building proudly boasted the emblem. 

A troop of soldiers marched around the building, clearly on patrol. The symbol decorated their uniforms, but other than that, their gray getups only confused Denida more. Where am I? He sauntered down the slope, trying not to draw the soldiers’ attention to his presence. He circled the building, scoping it out. Having seen nothing significant, he approached a soldier, who seemed to be on a smoke break. The soldier leaned up against the front wall of the building. Maybe he can tell me about this building.

“Hey.” Denida pointed to the building. “Tall building, here. I really like the insignia engraved above the door.”

“Get out of here, bum. This is a military installation.” The soldier pushed Denida.

Military installation? Denida backed away. Very interesting, seeing as the soldiers are wearing a gear with the symbol decorating it. As he turned to leave, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye, which caused him to halt.

The door had opened and Denida could see a ring of soldiers inside, with Daniel standing in the middle. 

“I said move it!” The soldier yelled at Denida. 

Denida’s jaw trembled. I can’t leave without Daniel, but if I try to fight this guy, the rest of the soldiers will attack me. “That’s my boy in there, but why?”

The soldier’s eyes followed Denida’s finger to the building and the soldiers inside.

“Well?” Denida trembled with impatience. 

The soldier pushed him into the building.

“This guy says he’s the boy’s dad,” the soldier announced. 

“Oh? This kid said he’s the president’s son. This is the guy he was referring to?” Another soldier snickered.

The rest of the soldiers laughed. 

Denida looked at the unfamiliar soldiers, still with a sinking sensation in his chest. They have the UW symbol here, but they don’t know who we are?

A decorated sergeant stepped into the room, commanding attention. “From what I’ve heard, this boy claims he’s our colonel’s son, and the man says he’s the kid’s dad. Something’s wrong, here.” The sergeant raised his gun, taking aim at Denida.

“I just want to take my son and leave.” Denida raised his hands in surrender.

“We could just kill you here, instead.” The clicks of arms sounded as the rest of the soldiers cocked their guns. Before the situation escalated, another man ran over from behind the troop. 

“Stop! The colonel wants to see both prisoners.” The colonel? It can’t be our colonel, can it? Come to think of it, that would explain the UW symbol’s prevalence here. Denida nodded in acquiescence, relief hastening his stride, on his way to their colonel. 

The soldiers led Denida and Daniel up endless stairs to the top floor of the building. Each landing they passed had guards patrolling each door onto their respective floors. How strange… Denida bit his lip. The military presence sure seemed prevalent, and he really hoped they were taking him to see his own colonel. At least then, he’d be able to get some answers about this strange place.

When they reached the leader’s office, two the guards frisked both Denida and Daniel with a pat down. After turning to one another, the guards nodded and knocked on the grand, mahogany door behind them.

“Enter!” a voice called from within.

The guards opened the door, so Denida and Daniel could step inside, then closed it behind them with a loud bang.

The man at the desk resembled Denida’s colonel, right down to his stern smile. Is it really you?

“I am this world’s colonel, and the president of this underworld.” 

Denida’s mouth hung agape. This man looked and sounded so much like his friend, but how did he become the president, here?

“What the…” I’m in a different underworld?

“You claim to be President Denida’s son?” the colonel asked.

Daniel’s eyes were as wide as Denida’s, as he glanced over at his dad. 

Whoever this man is, he isn’t the colonel I know. Or, perhaps this is what my world would’ve been like if I had never become president? But that couldn’t be the case, given the prominence of the UW emblem in this world.

Denida stepped over to the desk and leaned against it. He drew in a deep breath. “How is it possible that you don’t know me?”

The colonel stared into Denida’s eyes as if he could hear Denida’s heart thumping in his chest. After a moment, he chuckled and leaned back in his chair. “Guards!”

Several men stormed into the room.

“I’m sorry, Mister, but I’ve never seen you before.” The colonel gestured for his troops to act. “They’re crazy. Get them out of my sight and remove them from the compound.”

Before Denida could object, the guards had grabbed him and Daniel and escorted them out of the building. How can this be? Denida knew his colonel very well, especially following their shared history fighting against the Dark Angels. Is that colonel in the office just a doppelgänger of my colonel? It seemed like the only explanation for the lack of recognition.

“I want to go home,” Daniel whispered. 

They ventured through the forest, heading back to the Gate. One thing seemed evident; they had to leave this strange place, wherever they were.

Denida peeked down at his son and a tinge of annoyance drew Denida’s lips into a snarl. If only his son hadn’t followed him to the lab, if only he hadn’t gone through the Gate, none of this would be happening. But that wasn’t important anymore. Denida managed to find his son. As they approached the Gate, Denida froze. Somebody’s here! He pulled Daniel down with him, just in time to hide. 

 

About the Author

Dennis Scheel

As a Christmas Child, I believe magic is everywhere, especially during the
winter, and I try to weave that magic into my stories. After all, my firm
belief in karma and destiny has shaped who I am, so it should guide my
stories, as well.

I was born and raised in Denmark, but faced many challenges during my life,
one of which was my inability to write my stories in Danish! I’ve had my
stories brewing in my head since I was a child and struggled for years to
express them properly. After recovering from a diabetic attack that left me
hospitalized, I managed to find my writer’s voice in English, and am
thrilled to now have the ability to share my tales with you.

 

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Hold Circulation Blitz

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Hold Circulation cover

Trial and Redemption

A Call Numbers Novel

Literary Fiction

 

In the book of life, the page must always be turned.

 

Robin Walker is at a crossroads. It’s 1994, and he’s been
suspended from his part-time clerical position at the 58th Street Branch
Library. His co-workers are overburdened, even with visiting clerks from
other libraries.

Still mourning the loss of his grandfather, Robin also pines for Shinju,
his former girlfriend and the niece of his supervisor Sonyai Yi. Meanwhile,
library page Tonya Brown attempts to reconcile with her cheating boyfriend
Andrew Friedman. Information assistant Angie Trueblood is given the cold
shoulder by Heywood Learner, still despondent over a breakup. And former
58th Street page Janelle Simms is due to give birth and go on maternity
leave, all while feuding with her parents.

But all is not lost. Over time, these co-workers have become much more than
that. Joy, anger, love and pain are etched among them like ink on paper. Now
they must decide whether to renew their life choices or reserve a new path.
And with their due dates fast approaching, one thing becomes clear –
everybody wants a happy ending.

Hold Circulation is the latest entry in the Call Numbers series. Author
Syntell Smith crafts a layered and thought-provoking novel that examines the
drama-filled lives of the people that are best known for keeping quiet.
Underneath the surface, these fascinating characters try to break free of
life’s burdens… by leaping off the page.

About the Author

Syntell Smith

Syntell Smith was born and raised in Washington Heights, Upper Manhattan in
New York City. He began writing while blogging his hectic everyday life
experiences in 2004. After gaining an audience with a following of dedicated
readers, he studied scripts and plays and got into screenwriting. “Call
Numbers” is his first novel that he plans to develop into a series. He
loves comic books, video games, and watching reruns of Law and Order.
Syntell is active on Facebook. Tumblr & Twitter, and currently lives in
Detroit.

 

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Crimeline Hollywood Virtual Book Tour

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Comic Mystery / Thriller / Humor

Date Published: December 28, 2023

Publisher: Mindstir Media

 

 

Whoever thought an astrologer’s life could be so dangerous? Especially when
you’re “Hollywood’s Astrologer to the Stars.” Yet he once crawled
out on a 20-story beam to talk down a suicidal celebrity. And when he gave a
Vegas casino owner a costly piece of advice, he found himself the target of
a hitman.

Fortunately he escaped only to face another crisis: the kidnapping of
Sparklynn James, his most famous client. After the Feds falter on the case,
the family asks him to assist Rebecca Fairway, a publicity-seeking P.I.
(a.k.a. “The Glamorous Gumshoe) to find her. Not exactly the A
Team.

But a coded ransom message from Sparklynn herself points them in the right
direction…leading them straight into a web of corporate evil.

Crimeline Hollywood tablet

EXCERPT

Chapter 1

 

Looking back, I suppose you could say I got to North Carolina by way of the Hollywood Freeway. Actually, it was all Nigel’s fault. He’s the one who told me to use the Alvarado entrance, which proved a perfect location to spy on cars entering this famous roadway. 

Nigel was the GPS guide on my mother’s beloved Lincoln Town Car, and just for old times’ sake, I used him instead of my iPhone for guidance. But because of him, I nearly got my temporal and parietal lobes parted by a bullet. Muscle control and memory are governed by these regions, so it’s not something to take lightly. 

My mother liked Nigel for his “refined” delivery. And, indeed, he seemed a prince of a fellow—charming, urbane, and of course, very proper. I imagined him ensconced in a large wingback, clad in a silk smoking jacket and ascot. 

“Proceed seven miles to U.S. Highway 101,” he said as I eased into the flow of traffic. “Smashing idea, Nigel,” I said. “We’ll give it a go.” And just like that the die was cast and, my future was determined by this little Brit deep inside the dashboard . 

The car had served my mom well for years, but now she was living in a retirement home, and I finally persuaded her to sell her beloved “Black Beauty” as she called it. 

“You will be careful with it, won’t you?” she said.

 “Mom…” 

“You know what I mean, son.” 

Unfortunately, I did: my atrocious driving record as a teen. Before the age of nineteen, I’d managed to mangle, maul or completely total three cars, including a rental. But that was years ago. Today I was a responsible adult, a preferred risk according to my insurance company. I was perfectly capable of driving Black Beauty the twenty-six miles to a car auction where collectors would get the chance to bid on one of the largest cars in the Free World—the only one with a Rolls Royce-style grill. 

So, there I was, tooling down the Hollywood Freeway, enjoying a pleasant fall morning, not particularly aware of the 4Runner that was lurking behind me since Alvarado. Suddenly there was a sharp, popping sound, or maybe a crack. About the same time, I noticed a funny little hole in the dashboard, perfectly round with a curl of smoke rising out of it. 

Holy shit, someone was shooting at me! 

Probably a crazy sniper or one of those homegrown terrorists I’m always reading about. I sped into the thickening traffic of the downtown area, hoping to get out of his range. After several miles I began to feel safe, but when I glanced at my side mirror, there it was again. Worse yet, I spotted a familiar face poking out of the passenger window and my blood froze. Carmine! That bullet wasn’t random. It was meant just for me. 

Several months earlier I provided casino owner Milo Karp with a bad piece of astrological advice, and he apparently took it personally. I gave a thumbs-up on his newest property but not without considerable concern. For one thing, Milo was a Scorpio, and as I tried to explain to him, shit happens to Scorpios this time of year. It’s a period of volatility, thanks to a new moon plus some Mercury-Venus friction. But Milo is a skilled businessman with years of experience battling unions, contractors, sub-contractors, and agents. Me? I was just an astrologer. 

Well, not just any astrologer. I was, after all, last month’s six across on People magazine’s crossword with the clue “Hollywood’s astrologer for the stars.” I had big name clients like Sparklynn James, one of the most talented performers of our generation, and whose career I helped to launch. There was also the hulking Rowdy Gold of Too Tough To Kill fame and TV star Quinella Cardwell, a surgically fortified beauty. Also Mister Pister, a respectable rapper, if there is such a thing. 

I knew Milo because Vegas casinos bring in a lot of Hollywood talent to do shows and he eventually became one of my clients. He was difficult at times with a bad temper, but I never thought he would send someone to hunt me down on the freeway like a gazelle on the Serengeti Plains. But hunt me he did. Carmine was his strongman and the driver a young guy, an apprentice thug perhaps, and their mission seemed clear. 

Death was riding on my rear bumper. 

I wondered about the odds of an old parade float outrunning a nimble 4Runner? The SUV could corner on a dime. The Lincoln required big bills and made you wait for the change. In this kind of situation, it was little more than a rolling coffin. Icy terror shot through my veins. 

Whap! A second bullet slammed through the car, catching the top of the passenger window. Another hole, perfectly round. I pressed hard on the accelerator and the 460-cubic-inch engine responded. The pride of Detroit wouldn’t go down without a fight. Constructed of real, honest-to-God metal and chrome, it was practically an armored panzer. At least I had that in my favor. 

But the freeway, or “the 405” as locals called it, proved too confining. Ordinary streets would offer me more maneuverability, so I put my left blinker on (as if hit men really pay attention to that sort of thing). Then I swerved right, allowing me to shoot off one of the exits, completely confusing Nigel. But not Carmine. He kept behind me, tucked in between a Beemer and a Saab convertible, holding steady. 

“Recalculating.” 

“Yeah, you do that, Nigel. Get us out of this mess!” 

I hung a right at the end of the ramp, spotted some open road and let the big engine do its thing. I continued with a series of random turns with no idea where I was going. 

“Left turn and continue one point five miles onto Whitmire.” 

“Not now, Nigel,” I snapped. 

Up ahead, a large delivery truck lumbered toward me in low gear. Carefully timing my speed, I skidded onto a side street. I’d seen Steve McQueen pull a similar move in Bullitt. The only problem was, when I did it, only about two-thirds of the Lincoln made it. The remaining third hopped the curb and took out a mailbox. 

Nonetheless, the move allowed me to gain some distance from my pursuer. I took a hard left at the next crossing, this time throwing the car into a terrifying slide. Centrifugal force took control of the car until it hit a stubborn no-parking sign. The wheels continued to spin, shooting out gravel before finally catching and rocketing the car forward. 

I didn’t seem to be in control of this metal beast. The beast was controlling me. 

I zipped around the corner of the next street, again jumping the sidewalk and sending pedestrians scurrying for their lives. I whipped the car back and heard a loud snap as a light pole clipped the mirror on the passenger side, leaving an ugly tangle of wires. 

Nigel, meanwhile, continued to spit out conflicting instructions: “Stay on Arcadia for one point three miles. Turn right on LaSalle. Recalculating.” 

“Shut the hell up, Nigel!” I shouted. 

“Turn left in one half mile onto Anzarro,” he said, totally ignoring me. 

I veered onto a grimy sidewalk, pushing through a row of metal newspaper stands. Copies of free tabloids flew across my windshield like a flock of birds. 

Still the 4Runner kept behind me. 

Ahead I spotted something orange, a sawhorse with traffic cones next to it, blocking off the street ahead. Decision time. What would Steve McQueen have done? I gritted my teeth and ploughed through it in a blaze of construction orange. 

So much for the Rolls Royce-style grill. 

The SUV followed in my wake, flattening whatever was left. All I could do now was to snake through the inner city, hoping for some kind of miracle. Nigel, meanwhile, was strangely silent, perhaps from the violent contact with the barricade. From the corner of my eye, I noticed several alleyways. They were narrow, but just wide enough for one auto. 

I picked one and turned into it. Carmine’s driver did the same. More gunshots and more panic. If a bullet hit a tire, I could careen out of control and crash. If one hit the gas tank, it would probably explode. And if it struck the back of my skull…well, that would explode too, and I would die in a Lincoln limo. Just like Kennedy. 

A large intersection loomed ahead. The corner of Life and Death where Destiny crosses Fate. A stoplight hung there, and you can probably guess what color it was. A city bus lumbered toward the intersection, giving me one last, insane chance. I jammed hard on the gas pedal and the giant engine responded with every horse still available. I flew across the intersection amidst a chorus of honks, clearing the bus by inches. 

Then, vehicular chaos. 

In my rearview mirror, I watched the bus sideswipe the SUV and hit the brakes, setting off a string of other collisions. All of this seemed to take place in a second. Later I learned the bus catapulted the SUV through the front window of a muffler shop. The cars behind it couldn’t brake in time and piled one by one into each other, accordion style. 

Meanwhile I kept driving straight ahead. All I wanted to do was put as much real estate as possible between the Lincoln and the crash site. The terrible cracking sound kept reverberating through my head along with the horrifying crunch of metal meeting metal. 

After traveling several miles through normal traffic, I began to feel a little safer. That’s not to say all the panic was gone. So far this morning I managed to outrun a pair of hit men, dodge a half dozen bullets, race through some of meanest streets of L.A. and barely escape death. Yet at some point I would face the most daunting challenge of all. 

Explaining to Mom what I’d done to her Black Beauty

 

About the Author

Thomas Collins

Thomas Collins wrote his first book, The Adventures of Tom and Rom, at the
age of ten. (Now out of print) As an adult he gained valuable knowledge of
the inner workings of big business as corporate communications director for
a Fortune 500 company. Crimeline Hollywood is his first mystery though not
his last, especially since the hitman from Crimeline is still on the loose.
Like his hero, Dash Harwood, he is an Aquarian who likes to think outside
the box… once he cuts through all the packaging.

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