Nonfiction
Date Published: November 11, 2023
Publisher: Burggraff Tash Levy PLC
How can you end your marriage with dignity and respect? While divorce can
be filled with anger, frustration, and bitterness, most couples don’t
want to end their marriage in an ugly, drawn-out battle that causes
irreparable damage.
Does a Good Divorce Really Exist? (Absolutely!) is your definitive guide
through the difficult journey of divorce. Randi Burggraff, Justin Tash, and
Bryan Levy lay out a roadmap to help you understand the process, rules, and
potential outcomes. More importantly, you will master the critical mindset
shift that will get you and your partner on the path to a “good”
divorce.
Educate yourself by using the examples of healthy divorces to understand
what’s involved at each step. This book will guide you through
potential pitfalls so you can prepare mentally and think strategically. This
book helps you approach heated conflicts in ways that will allow you
to emerge with your emotional well-being and integrity intact.
EXCERPT
Is There a Positive to Divorce?
For various reasons, no one likes going to court, and we will talk more about this later. But, if there is a positive in the realm of divorce, we are seeing a trend where most people want to settle outside of court. This includes attorneys and clients.
That does not mean that all cases settle out of court. We cannot control opposing parties, opposing counsel, courts, new girlfriends, new boyfriends, parents, or other external influences. Unfortunately, when litigants attempt to impose control on their soon-to-be ex-spouse, they typically wind up inside a courtroom. When people get vindictive, they get sidetracked, and are no longer focused on the resolution. This increases animosity and legal fees. We hope we can help you avoid that.
Staying focused on the resolution elevates you out of the mud. You can acknowledge that parts of this process really suck, but problems have to be addressed to keep you on track toward that resolution. We have found that this approach actually improves relationships the parties have with their common friends, their children, and even between themselves.
Most clients arrive hurt and sad, with their defenses up. People have a natural tendency to want to lash out and defend themselves, which is 100 percent understandable—these are valid feelings. What we hope you will see, however, is a better path—even if it’s not clear to you at this particular moment. That does not mean you’re wrong to be angry. That does not mean this person hasn’t done terrible things, or they didn’t cheat on you, take your money, or whatever else they did. But if your end goal is to burn them and waste every single penny you have in the process, no one benefits.
There will be bumps in the road. There will be questions. There will be emotional highs and lows. There will be wins and losses. Quiet times and busy times. Those things are okay, normal, and to be expected. No one can be prepared 100 percent for the divorce process in its entirety, but there is a better way to prepare yourself mentally for the rollercoaster ride you are about to step on to.
We are able to help the hypothetical Janes and Bobs of the world think strategically instead of emotionally. By keeping an open mind, they could see the bigger picture. This enabled them to determine their goals and take the high road in order to attain them. In time, many of them actually developed a better relationship with their former spouse than they had during their marriage (though without regrets, as they are often reminded of why they divorced).
Identifying the end goal gives you clarity to see the divorce for what it is—as we already mentioned, it’s a series of steps and procedures until a resolution is reached. You will arrive at a point where you say: I can live with this divorce. This did not destroy me. I can live with the resolution that I have. I am going to be okay, and I am ready to move forward with the rest of my life.
So, how do we get there? Keep reading.
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