Tag Archives: family saga

They Called Him Marvin Virtual Book Tour

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They Called Him Marvin cover

Creative nonfiction History, Historical romance, WW2, Family Saga, Memoir
Biography

Date Published: September 1, 2020

Publisher: Silver Star Publishing Llc

 

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Duty called.

He answered.

She, with child, was left behind.

He did not come home.

 

“They were the fathers we never knew, the uncles we never met, the
friends who never returned, the heroes we can never repay.” (B
Clinton.) Such a man was 1st Lt Dean Harold Sherman, B-29 Airplane Commander
one of the thousands of man-boys, not far from their mother’s apron
strings, that learned to fly a B-29 thousands of miles and bomb an
enemy.

“They Called Him Marvin” is a history of Dean Sherman and his
teenage bride Connie’s love, World War 2 and their efforts to create a
family. A history of the collision of the raging politics of a global war,
young love, patriotism, sacred family commitments, duty and the horrors and
tragedies, the catastrophe that war is.

A reviewer explains: “I am a fan of historical fiction and this story
did not disappoint. It was sweet, tragic, personal, and moving. Gradually
and almost imperceptibly, the story of two wartime sweethearts begins
circling the drain of a tragedy you know is coming. The book begins with the
ending, but by the time you get there you have convinced yourself that it
can’t possibly be the case. I enjoyed every moment, even the ones that left
me in tears.

The letters between Connie and Dean provided a fascinating glimpse into
wartime life. Reading the experiences of people both at home and abroad was
very engaging. I found myself eagerly awaiting the next letter, right along
with the young couple!

Lastly, the book left me with an overwhelming acknowledgment of the
universal trauma and tragedy of war. The Sherman’s are not the only
family we meet in the book and the weaving together of several different
narratives added a depth to the story that’s hard to put into words.
 I definitely encourage anyone to read this book, especially if historical
novels are not something you typically read. This is a story about people
and you won’t want it to end.”

 

They Called Him Marvin tablet

About the Author

Roger Stark

I am, by my own admission, a reluctant writer. But there are stories
that demand to to be told. When we hear them, we must pick up our pen, lest
we forget and the stories be lost.

Six years ago, in a quiet conversation with my friend Marvin, I learned the
tragic story his father, a WW2 B-29 Airplane Commander, shot down over
Nagoya, Japan just months before the end of the war.  A father he never
knew. The telling of the story that evening by this half orphan was so
moving and full of emotion, it compelled me to ask if I could write the
story. The result being “They Called Him Marvin.”

My life has been profoundly touched in so many ways by being part of
documenting this sacred story. I pray that we never forget, as a people, the
depth of sacrifice that was made by ordinary people like Marvin and his
father and mother on our behalf.

My career as an addiction counselor (CDP) lead me to write “The
Waterfall Concept; A Blueprint for Addiction Recovery,” and co-author
“Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain.”

After my counseling retirement, I decided I wanted to learn more about the
craft of writing and started attending classes at Portland Oregon’s
Attic Institute. What I learned is that there are an mazing number of great
writers in my area and they were willing to help others improve their
skills. I am grateful to many of them.

My next project is already underway, a memoir of growing in SW Washington
called “Life on a Sorta Farm.” My wife of 49 years, Susan and I
still live in that area.

We raised seven children, and have eleven grandchildren. We love to travel
and see the sites and cultures of the world. I still get on my bicycle
whenever I can.

Contact Links

Facebook

Goodreads

Purchase Link

Amazon

 

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They Called Him Marvin Virtual Book Tour

They Called Him Marvin banner

They Called Him Marvin cover

Creative nonfiction History, Historical romance, WW2, Family Saga, Memoir
Biography

Date Published: September 1, 2020

Publisher: Silver Star Publishing Llc

 

photo add-to-goodreads-button_zpsc7b3c634.png

Duty called.

He answered.

She, with child, was left behind.

He did not come home.

“They were the fathers we never knew, the uncles we never met, the
friends who never returned, the heroes we can never repay.” (B
Clinton.) Such a man was 1st Lt Dean Harold Sherman, B-29 Airplane Commander
one of the thousands of man-boys, not far from their mother’s apron
strings, that learned to fly a B-29 thousands of miles and bomb an
enemy.

“They Called Him Marvin” is a history of Dean Sherman and his
teenage bride Connie’s love, World War 2 and their efforts to create a
family. A history of the collision of the raging politics of a global war,
young love, patriotism, sacred family commitments, duty and the horrors and
tragedies, the catastrophe that war is.

A reviewer explains: “I am a fan of historical fiction and this story
did not disappoint. It was sweet, tragic, personal, and moving. Gradually
and almost imperceptibly, the story of two wartime sweethearts begins
circling the drain of a tragedy you know is coming. The book begins with the
ending, but by the time you get there you have convinced yourself that it
can’t possibly be the case. I enjoyed every moment, even the ones that left
me in tears.

The letters between Connie and Dean provided a fascinating glimpse into
wartime life. Reading the experiences of people both at home and abroad was
very engaging. I found myself eagerly awaiting the next letter, right along
with the young couple!

Lastly, the book left me with an overwhelming acknowledgment of the
universal trauma and tragedy of war. The Sherman’s are not the only
family we meet in the book and the weaving together of several different
narratives added a depth to the story that’s hard to put into words.
 I definitely encourage anyone to read this book, especially if historical
novels are not something you typically read. This is a story about people
and you won’t want it to end.”

They Called Him Marvin tablet

EXCERPT

18 January 1941, The Story Begins

Stanley Carter started all this. 

… I want to help you with your problem of not knowing any one in Salt Lake. Tomorrow I am going to my girlfriends house, come with me, she would love to meet you and then you will know two people here.”

Dean answered, “I could be talked into that.” 

        “We are going to meet up at church and then go to her house.”

By the end of church the following day, Dean would actually know three people from Salt Lake City. This because Stan’s girlfriend, Carol Woffinden, happened to be the best friend of Constance Avilla Baldwin, who also just happened to attend the same Waterloo Ward of the Mormon Church, who also didn’t have a boy friend, and who was also more than happy to make a visitor feel welcome.

Dean innocently walked into all of this. 

Mormons have a special interest in non Mormons, or Gentiles as they call them. You see, a Mormon is never far from, or without, his missionary zeal. If you’re not a Mormon and your going to hang out with a Mormon for very long, you’re going to get zealed.  For Dean Harold Sherman, it was to be a life altering dose of zealing.

 

Dean and Connie exchanged 67 letters (50 written by Dean) the night  (unbeknownst to him) that his son Marvin was born Dean wrote:

 

India –18 February 1945

Good Evening Peaches:

Hello sweet girl, I sure have been thinking of you lots these days and wishing so much that I could be around to take care of you, and be holding your nice soft hands and giving you lots of moral support, and see your pretty face and look in your eyes and without saying a word, tell you millions of wonderful things that you mean to me.  You do too, Honey, mean so many wonderful things to me.  All the wonderful things a beautiful girl can be and my best companion ever along with being the sweetest wife any guy ever could love. Those are just a few of the things, Darling, which make me love you more every day…

Goodnight Peach Blossom,

Dean

 

On the day Dean was shot down Connie Wrote:

 

#57 — 14 May 1945 

My most wonderful man,

I’m in a rather odd mood tonight Honey, and it is most all about you and Marvin and me.  I have been trying to decide whether or not I would write to you tonight most all evening.  I wanted to, but I didn’t know if I could express my feelings as I would want to, and, as I feel them.  As you can see Honey, I have made up my mind to try.  How well I succeed remains to be seen…

Then I was thinking of Marvin and wondering just what his talents are going to be.  To have a Daddy such as you, Honey, he will be kind and good, even as you are, a wonderful man.  Honey, I’m really just beginning to realize what a great responsibility we have in teaching and caring for Marvin.  We just have to do it to the very best of our ability.  I know you have lots of ability, Honey, and I hope I have…

         I have a hard time, the past seems like such a thrilling dream of love and happiness.  I wonder if it all really happened, but then I know it did.  And Oh!  Honey how I do love you now and forever and ever ever after with all my heart and soul.  Honey I just can’t express how deep my love for you is.  Its an impossibility.  I love you always.

Good night my husband,

Peaches

Xxxxxxxxxx

 

10 December 1944, The Same Damn Movie

… In Puerto Rico the crew was quite happy to watch the new release  The Lady Takes a Chance starring John Wayne and Jean Arthur. Coincidently when they reached British Guiana the same movie was featured. Not to be deterred the crew again enjoyed the film. When they got to Brazil and it was again the featured picture show, some murmuring occurred. The Corporalies, were feeling cheated.

When they found the movie would be playing at their fourth stop also they complained to Dean.

“Sir, ain’t the Army got any other movies?”

“We know the lines better than the actors.”

“We know John Wayne is going to eat the lamb chops because Jean Arthur cooked them for him even tho he is a beef man.”

“Maybe there will be something new at our next stop,” was the consolation Dean offered.  After crossing the Atlantic The Corporalies showed signs of giving up on the movies.

But in KhartoumThe Corporalies forced into the NCO Club by the searing heat and therefore ‘forced‘ to drink cold beer all day had a terrible yearning, near evening, for a movie. 

“Howell, go see what’s playing at the movies tonight.” ordered his fellow Corporalies.

By virtue of being the youngest Howell was often the brunt of such requests especially after three or four beers. He had given up protesting that he was the same rank as them. In fact as the Central Gunner, he was in charge of the other gunners in combat, but as the youngest of four boys at home he felt a strange comfort in re-playing the role with his combat brothers.

“And damn it, don’t come back if it is The Lady Takes a Chance.” 

Of course he discovered that The Lady was indeed tonights special feature. On the way back to the NCO Club with the sad news that John Wayne was again eating those lamb chops even here on the edge of the Nile Rivers, he met his Airplane Commander.

“Sir, they are playing that same damn movie here, oh sorry sir, that same John Wayne movie is playing here. We are sick of it, Sir, ain’t the Army got any other movies?”

“Evan, the reason that movie shows up everywhere we go, is that we have been tasked with delivering it to our final destination while allowing each layover airfield to use it.”

Howell stared at his Airplane Commander as his cognitive impaired brain tried to process. The light finally came on for him, a bit dim, but it came on. “Oh, Sir, I see Sir, I’ll tell the boys.”

And off he wandered, not in the direction of the boys, but in the direction of his bunk, taking his comrades threat to not return with bad news seriously.

 

About the Author

Roger Stark

I am, by my own admission, a reluctant writer. But there are stories
that demand to to be told. When we hear them, we must pick up our pen, lest
we forget and the stories be lost.

Six years ago, in a quiet conversation with my friend Marvin, I learned the
tragic story his father, a WW2 B-29 Airplane Commander, shot down over
Nagoya, Japan just months before the end of the war.  A father he never
knew. The telling of the story that evening by this half orphan was so
moving and full of emotion, it compelled me to ask if I could write the
story. The result being “They Called Him Marvin.”

My life has been profoundly touched in so many ways by being part of
documenting this sacred story. I pray that we never forget, as a people, the
depth of sacrifice that was made by ordinary people like Marvin and his
father and mother on our behalf.

My career as an addiction counselor (CDP) lead me to write “The
Waterfall Concept; A Blueprint for Addiction Recovery,” and co-author
“Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain.”

After my counseling retirement, I decided I wanted to learn more about the
craft of writing and started attending classes at Portland Oregon’s
Attic Institute. What I learned is that there are an mazing number of great
writers in my area and they were willing to help others improve their
skills. I am grateful to many of them.

My next project is already underway, a memoir of growing in SW Washington
called “Life on a Sorta Farm.” My wife of 49 years, Susan and I
still live in that area.

We raised seven children, and have eleven grandchildren. We love to travel
and see the sites and cultures of the world. I still get on my bicycle
whenever I can.

Contact Links

Facebook

Goodreads

Purchase Link

Amazon

a Rafflecopter giveaway

RABT Book Tours & PR

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Frank Vaughn, Killed By His Mom Blitz

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Family Saga
Publisher: DOA Enterprises
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A dark version of “The Wonder Years,” Frank Vaughn Killed by his Mom is “The Great Santini” written by Homer, careening through a coarse world of racism, adultery, abandonment, and even the occasional hope.
It’s summer, 1965. School’s out and Butch’s birthday is in a few weeks. Perfect; three months of freeze tag, hide and seek and riding his bike way past dark. Well, maybe not completely perfect — Frank Vaughn, a classmate, is beaten to death by his crazy mother for leaving a report card at school. On top of that, Dad is touchier than ever and Mom sadder, so best to hide out next door with his best friend Tommy reading X-Men and hoping for that birthday GI Joe.
But in one night, Butch’s summer explodes and he’s now riding across a turbulent and changing Dixie in a white Rambler station wagon, at the mercy of a manic depressive and wildly violent Dad. Like a crewman on Ulysses’ ship, Butch encounters a one-eyed evil grandfather, a 12-year-old Siren, the lotus-eaters of Alabama…and Frank Vaughn. If Butch ever sees his beloved sister, Cindy, again, it’ll be a miracle. If he’s alive at the end of the summer, it’ll be a bigger one.
Frank Vaughn, Killed By His Mom tablet
Excerpt
Chapter 1
Butch sat on the porch watching the girls skip rope:
“Frank Vaughn, killed by his mom
Lying in bed alooone,
She picked up a bat
And gave him a whack
And broke his head to the booone
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…”
…and so on.
Cindy reached the twenties before snagging a toe, but Frank’s mom couldn’t have hit him that many times. A lot, but not that many.
Immortalized in skip rhyme. Amazing. It had been what, only a week? Frank was still on TV. Pat Jarrod, the Channel 7 news anchor, was all grim last night while narrating the film of Frank’s dad escorting Frank’s mom, very pretty in a silk dress and beehive hairdo, into the Lawton Court House. Mr. Vaughn was wearing his class-A uniform and dark glasses and looked like the President of Vietnam, and his wife looked like Mrs. President of Vietnam.
“They’re Filipino,” dad said.
Could’ve been a state visit, except no one was happy.
Butch had been surprised when Frank’s dad helped Mrs. Frank up the courthouse stairs.
Odd. He should be really mad at her, but there he was, being nice. The girls weren’t being nice; they were making fun of Frank, which wasn’t right. Wasn’t like it was Frank’s fault or anything.
Cindy was in again and the others—Lynn and Debbie, Carlafromdownthestreet, Maria and Joseph (who might as well be a girl), and some random passersby—were doing their best to trip her up while staying on the Frank call. You’d think they’d get tired of it, go on to “Spank” or “Battleship,” but no. Butch should go over and tell them to stop, but that would invoke the deadly kid “Ewww!” response and its follow-up, “Go away, you big baby, we’ll do what we want!” and even Cindy would join in because this was the herd, although she’d be gentle. He’d be humiliated and might get his suit, the same one he wore to Frank’s funeral, dirty, which meant a beating and not going to Dale’s graduation.
Best to stay here.
Graduation. Sure making a big deal. All of them dressed up, even Art, with some put-together shirt and skinny tie that wasn’t a suit at all, something Butch, with great delight, repeatedly pointed out. Cindy had on a flowered dress with a yellow silk belt and mom had brushed her red-blonde hair until it was full and fluffy and floated like a cloud, as it did now inside the rope…twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six. She wouldn’t get dirty.
Never did. Even when they had mud ball fights and slid head first, screaming and laughing, down the crap hills piled up by the bulldozer guys building apartments near the ball fields, only Butch came back with twenty or thirty layers of dirt hiding his identity. She was untouched. She was perfect.
She was beautiful.
Butch watched her, and his heart soared and knew he was lucky to be her brother…okay, adopted brother. All the boys wanted to cut the string on her finger but she wouldn’t let them, and all the girls wanted to play with her, just her, but she played with them all, no favorites, her laughter ringing up and down the hallways of B.C. Swinney Elementary.
Because of Cindy, the bullies more or less left Butch alone and the other kids tolerated his goofiness. In any other family, that’d be enough. But she favored him, him, over the smart, handsome boys who pursued her on the playground and the sophisticated girls who called her on the phone. Butch was her sole companion when she ran through the alley and over the crap hills. They rolled down the slopes together until they were so dizzy that earth and sky blurred and then they lay on their backs and made things out of clouds and said their secrets and never, ever, told on each other. She didn’t call him stupid or spaz or any of the other names everyone including dad did; she covered for him, even made him look better than he was to the other kids. Even now, somehow she’d disentangle him if he went over there and screamed at the girls for making fun of Frank. Without her, he’d be dead.
Just like Frank.
Tommy walked up the mile-high steps onto the porch and scooted Cha Cha, who lay next to Butch, out of the way. The dog smiled good-naturedly as Tommy sat down and handed Butch a Journey Into Mystery, “To Kill a Thunder God”! Good cover with the Destroyer on it and Butch flipped to “The Crimson Hand,” one of the Tales of Asgard. He’d already read it, but he liked to re-read things he liked, and the Norse myths fascinated him. Tommy had X-Men #12, “The Origin of Professor X”! and Butch glanced over. His copy was in the house. He and Tommy had bought probably the last two left at Carl’s Drug Store, thank God, before someone else got them. Good issue, but he wasn’t sure which origin story, Professor X’s or Juggernaut’s, was the more compelling. Juggernaut was magic, not a mutant. That made him hard to defeat.
“You wanna read this one?” Tommy had caught his glance and shook the X-Men at him.
Yes, but Asgard first.
Butch finger-waved it away, already back on the Hand. Tommy grunted and turned to the page showing Juggernaut at Professor X’s feet, helmet off, surprised by a Professor X-guided Angel attack. Butch abandoned Asgard for Juggernaut’s terrified face. There’s always a weakness. Just had to find it.
“Why you all dressed up?” Tommy asked.
“Dale’s graduation.”
“Oh,” Tommy nodded and looked at the girls. Tommy was in sixth grade now but, next year, moved on to middle school. Next week Butch turned ten, double-digits at last, teenagery mere scattered months beyond, a birthday of grand implications heralded with cupcakes and ice cream and singing and presents and maybe, please God, that longed-for GI Joe. Butch looked forward to it with all the twittery anticipation of a Christmas morning. But their mutual promotions might have a dangerous effect on their friendship.
Tommy lived right next door, very convenient for a best friend, and there were hardly two hours straight in the day that Butch wasn’t at Tommy’s or the other way around. They played army, with Tommy the Americans and Butch the Germans, or Civil War, with Tommy the North and Butch the Rebs, or Marvel, with Tommy as Dr. Strange or Reed Richards and Butch as Dormammu or Doctor Doom. Occasionally, Chuckie from two doors down joined them when he wasn’t in trouble, or Dale (funny that he had Butch’s sister’s name) from across the street when he was visiting his aunt. But those were interludes Butch really didn’t like because, invariably, Chuckie or Dale teased Butch about something stupid he did or said and Tommy let them continue until Butch cried and went home.
The best times were right now, side by side, reading Marvel. Tommy got him started a few years ago, dragged Butch and his weekly quarter off to Carl’s. “Don’t buy baseball cards, jerko, lookee here!”
Tommy had spun the magazine rack to a slot containing a Fantastic Four #1 with that big green thing coming out of the street.
Wow.
Butch liked Batman, and Sergeant Rock and the tank haunted by the ghost of General Stuart in GI Combat, but this! He bought the FF and a Two-Gun Kid and still had one cent left over for bubblegum with a Luis Tiant and Tug McGraw inside to trade later.
So who’s the jerko, jerko?
They had raced to Tommy’s back porch and Tommy read the comics aloud because Butch couldn’t read yet. First grade was still months away, and he hadn’t gone to kindergarten like Cindy and Art. If it hadn’t been for those comic books and Green Eggs and Ham, Butch wouldn’t have had a clue what a letter was, much less whole words, when he walked into Miss MacDonald’s first-grade class that fall.
Now, look at him. He read as well as Tommy, maybe better. Butch had read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer five times already, loving each pass-through. Miss Hale, the most beautiful second-grade teacher in the world, had read it to them during story time. Enthralled, Butch had pestered her to do so again, and she asked, “Would you like to read it for yourself?”
Would he!
“Maybe a little advanced, Butch, but if you think you can do it …”
He sure did think he could do it. Hadn’t he blasted through the SRAs, didn’t he swap Happy Hollisters with the third graders and wasn’t he a Marvel True Believer? She lent him her copy and he finished it in a week, and Miss Hale was so astonished she gave it to him when school ended. He could read anything now, couldn’t he?
Call me a bookworm, dad, I don’t care.
But all that was in jeopardy. If there was one group of kids with which middle schoolers had no truck, it was elementaries … like Butch. Butch wouldn’t ascend to seventh grade until Tommy was already in ninth, one year away from high school, and ninth graders had even less truck with seventh graders. Their friendship was aging out. It was more than likely that this summer was the very last time that he and Tommy could, or would, remain the best of friends.
That prospect gave Butch the chills, and he glanced apprehensively at his very best friend in the entire universe and, oh my God, look at this, Tommy was still on the girls. Butch frowned. Tommy had the narrowed eyes that dad got whenever he looked at bent-over girls or girls walking by in their bathing suits. Butch always looked away feeling guilty, even though he didn’t understand why. Dad, though, stayed on them; smiled, too.
Wait. Wrong word—’leered,’ yeah, that’s it. An ugly word. But appropriate.
About the Author

D. Krauss resides in the Shenandoah Valley, Virginia. He has been, at various times: a cottonpicker, a sodbuster, a librarian, a surgical orderly, the guy who paints the little white line down the middle of the road, a weatherman, a door-kickin’ shove-gun-in-face lawman, a hunter of terrorists, and a school bus driver (and a layabout, don’t forget that). He’s been married for over 40 years, and has a wildman bass guitarist for a son.
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The Crossroads of Logan Michaels – Blitz

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Contemporary Fiction, Family Saga
Publisher: Koehler Books
Published: September 15, 2018
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After growing up heartbroken with an endless series of struggles, Maria Michaels creates a picture-perfect family of her own. But life changes too quickly, and she loses her grip on herself and her two troubled sons. In spite of her desire to give them a better life, they spiral downward on the paths they choose. They must fight through sadness, mistakes and tragedy to find redemption and the love that only a mother can give. Told from a dual perspective of mother and son, we follow the family’s battles with divorce, drugs and depression. You will laugh and cry, and probably want to call your mom to tell her you love her.
Praise for The Crossroads of Logan Michaels:
“Sometimes hilarious, sometimes painful, but always gritty and real, The Crossroads of Logan Michaels examines a bright young man’s downward spiral into addiction; the forces that drive him to drinking and drugs, and ultimately the forces that may guide him back out. Thumbs-up for this debut!” – James Frey, best-selling author of A Million Little Pieces, My Friend Leonard, and Bright Shiny Morning
The Crossroads of Logan Michaels front back covers
Excerpt
AGE OF INNOCENCE
Being in a new town, and leaving all of my old friends, scared me. I knew I was good at baseball and basketball, but I worried whether I would still be good in North Andover.
Summer was ending, but I couldn’t complain. We’d had fun times camping in Maine, while my little brother, Jared, and I got into mischief. My friends from Andover called me and said we should still hang out, even though we would be in different towns.
The summer came to an end and I was ready for third grade at my new school. Monday arrived and I looked out the window at the playground and saw all the kids. Living across the street from the school wasn’t all that bad. I grabbed my bag and kissed my mother and high-fived my dad before walking over to the school yard. There was a steep hill I slowly ran down, and then I ran across a field of kids kicking a soccer ball. I aimlessly walked around, checking out the playground, kicking my feet, and watching the kids play before the bell rang. Our house was so close that I could see my mom staring through the window at me.
The bell rang as I watched kids line up. We “pledged allegiance” outside and then walked to class. Being the new kid sucks, I thought, as I sat down next beside a boy named Grant.
“What’s your name, kid?”
“Logan,” I said.
“Got a last name?”
“Michaels. My name is Logan Michaels.”
“You play any sports?”
“Yeah, baseball and basketball,” I replied.
“You any good?”
I laughed and said, “Let’s play at recess and find out.”
Recess arrived; we grabbed the basketball immediately and ran over to the hoops. After a couple of shots, the fifth-graders came over and tried to kick us off the court. Grant and I were not giving up that easily, though, and we said, “Let’s play for it.”
They laughed as they confidently threw the ball to me.
I caught it and shot. SWISH!! The game started out with two people watching, and by the end of recess, Grant and I had the whole recess crowd around us cheering. “ICE! ICE! ICE!” the older kids yelled. My last shot was in the air as everyone was watching: game point and SWISH!
We won by one point, and that day established my new nickname, Ice, because I had taken about twenty shots and had missed only two. The older kids said that we could play with them anytime, and I became popular on my first day. I ran home right after school, ready to tell my mom everything.
I walked in the house and saw Jared playing in the kitchen while my mom prepared dinner. The fall air was warm and crisp, with a sourdough bread smell lingering. I threw my bag down and told my mother about my day. She smiled and looked content as she continued to cook dinner. My mother would always smile when she saw me and Jared. We would hang out until dinnertime, and wait for Dad to come home. We would play video games, run around the house, and play in the yard; we always had so much energy.
My dad would come home, kick off his work boots, kiss my mom, and roughhouse with us. We typically tackled him as soon as he came through the door. Jared and I would lose to Dad, of course; he seemed like the strongest guy in the world.
After dinner, we would rush outside to play basketball with our small hoop in the yard until it got dark. My mom would yell out the window about how we needed to do our homework, and we would come inside once the sun set.
Realizing that I might have a career in basketball, I had Dad sign me up for the North Andover booster club team. We walked into tryouts; he was definitely the youngest father in there, being only twenty-eight years old. Most dads were in their late thirties.
As tryouts began, he introduced himself to the fathers. Everyone made the team, but I guess the tryouts were to see how they could split up the kids to make fair teams.
After waiting a week for the results, I finally received a call from Mr. Stone, the coach of the Hawks. He welcomed me onto the team, told me the practice schedule, and said, “See you there, Logan.” I hopped off the phone and ran into my parents’ room to tell them the good news. I jumped on the bed and then noticed something strange: my mother was crying and my father was rubbing her back with a worried look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. My mom hugged me. My brother walked in quietly, looking unsettled as he hugged my mom and dad.
“It’s my mom, Nana,” she said. “She’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and is very sick.”
“What’s Alzheimer’s?” I asked.
“It makes you forget who you are, Logan.” I was confused, but just hugged my mother back as she wiped her tears.
We had been a tight-knit family before moving. My mom and dad grew up on the same street and met when they were children.
My grandparents on both sides were always coming over to visit us, and we would go to their houses. We even went to church with them on Sundays. Jared and I called my mother’s parents “Nana” and “Papa;” we called my father’s parents “Granpy” and “Grammy.” I was closest to Nana.
Sitting in my room that night, I didn’t know whether I should be excited for basketball season, or sad for my Nana. It made me understand that pleasure and pain always went hand in hand.
One minute you’re up, and the next, you’re down, I thought as I shut my eyes.
We all visited my Nana that weekend, and I just couldn’t look at her the same way I had before. She was no different, but when I saw her, all I could think about was the Alzheimer’s and about whether she would one day forget me. It made me sad to see her like this, and to then look over at Papa and see him in the rocking chair shaking his knees; it was nice to see that he was smiling. He would always talk so loudly; I guess he had trouble hearing, but was never afraid to say what was on his mind.
Several cousins and their parents were visiting Nana and Papa. There were so many kids of similar ages on my mom’s side of the family. My mother had two brothers and a sister, and between them they had six kids, all roughly my age. We would spend the holidays together and go camping on the Cape and have a blast playing sports.
I was the closest with my cousin Tim. We would sleep over at each other’s house all of the time, and would often get in trouble together. We would talk about being confused when we found out that Nana was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but agreed that we couldn’t tell any difference in her behavior.
It was always a bit scary visiting my father’s side of the family. Some days, we would go over there after visiting Nana’s and Papa’s house. Dad’s parents’ house was old and scary, but must have had a million rooms. It had an old bar with tools and old rusty cars, which was kind of creepy. There was a large pit underneath the garage and I always wondered what the heck was down there, but was too afraid to go see.
My dad had three sisters and a brother, and they had seven kids between them. I was closest to Ryan, but he wasn’t really into sports like my cousin Tim and me. Ryan was more occupied with playing in the garage with tools, making traps, and playing in the woods. The one thing that really got my blood pumping was the rope swing the two of us had made.
It was attached to a tree above the garage, directly over a pit.
We would swing over the pit, twenty feet in the air; it was such a rush. My brother Jared always wanted to try, but I would never let him. I tended to be kind of hard on him because he wanted to be right next to me all of the time.
About the Author
James M. Roberts wanted to prove that you don’t need to be a college scholar or a perfect writer to put your heart on paper even when it is hurting the most. James’s experiences have inspired him to tell his story in order to reach young readers suffering from insecurity, sadness, and addiction. Not only did James drop out of high school, but he also stumbled into deep depression early in his adolescent life. Although he had been an all-star athlete, he was far from happy. He ended up making regrettable choices in order to feel a sense of belonging and worth, especially following his parents’ separation. Through it all, James knew that one day he was going to share his “misery” with the world. He struggled through life’s lessons and finally put himself through college to earn a business degree and currently has a successful career in sales. James finished his first rough draft at twenty-five while in college. Five years later he erased all 200,000 words and started from scratch. He currently resides in Woburn, Massachusetts, where he continues to thrive and develop his writing.
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SHADOW HEART -PROMO BLITZ

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Broken Bottle Series, Book 1
Coming of Age, Family Saga, New Adult
Date Published:  February 2014
Publisher: Open Heart Books
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What if you were afraid to even turn the doorknob to your front door when coming home because of what might wait inside? What would it take to make you step out of your shadows, to once and for all break free from the twisted security of familiarity, and take a chance, a little risk, that could change everything?
Nicky Young is a woman who has come of age and is beginning to realize the first layer of her fears carried through her childhood from growing up in a family battling alcoholism. They have impacted her severely when forming relationships.
Abandonment, devaluing, fear of everything good ending—all are why she has been happy to stand back in the shadows. Watching. Observing. Stepping out only when safe. Until Ryan Tilton, a professional baseball player who also has abandonment issues of his own, promises her a relationship that could be like no other.
Now, in order to transition into a life she’d always imagined, she needs to take the first steps of risk to embrace the rise and fall, the love and heartache, and joys of life. Through small steps she struggles to trust, most importantly herself, but also others, enough to let them a little closer. The rage of her father’s addiction pushes and pulls her back, but with all her heart she wants to break free and start a life that is brilliant and unafraid of failure. But can she?
Other Books in the Broken Bottle Series:
Broken Bottle Series, Book 2
My heart is on fire. For the first time in my life I am awake and the desires I’ve pushed down are smoldering. The shadows of my youth are daring me to step away from them, and new visions are circling through my head that include having intimacy in a way I never dreamed of.
My name is Nicky Young. This is my coming of age story and family saga. I have begun to understand if I want to live differently than my parents—an alcoholic father and co-dependent mother—I need to love, forgive, trust and live with an open heart. As I look in the mirror, I am seeing a new woman emerging—one I’m not sure of and trying hard to discover.
Through family dysfunction and by the lack of affection in my household I learned not to get too close. Rage and violence lurked when we became vulnerable and the way I learned to protect myself was to build high and thick walls of defense around my heart. I dream about having a full, open, and intimate relationship. I want a real adult romance with every beat of my heart. But I can’t trust anyone enough—especially myself.
That was until I met Ryan Tilton, a very sexy professional baseball player who lost his father at only fourteen. In many ways we seem to be ancient spirits. He promises to hold me in his arms like I’ve never been held, and is offering me a chance to step out of fear and experience what is like to ask for what I want without being afraid. I feel my heart opening. I feel . . . joy.
This is my battle: A fight to break generational chains of dysfunction and addiction, to understand the choices of my parents, to love and trust myself, so that I can love and trust another. This story is about transitioning into joy. I invite you to follow me on my journey and the struggle I’m desperate to overcome.
Broken Bottles Series, Book 3
Swept into a romance with professional baseball player, Ryan Tilton, we’ve just had an evening of dreams—until I wouldn’t have sex with him. I couldn’t risk it. To me, sex means marriage. It means love and forever. I tried to explain. I didn’t hide it. But to him, it means love, acceptance, and that he wouldn’t be abandoned the same way he was when a boy of fourteen and his father was killed in the Middle East. He’s pleaded with me to tell him my feelings and openly tells me he loves me. I can’t repeat the words. Once I do, he’ll abandon me just like my parents—discounting my feelings because they can’t deal with their own. I couldn’t risk it. I knew he’d leave.
Dad battles his alcoholism. Mom embraces her co-dependency. They’ve gambled with their daughters’ mental and physical safety multiple times over the years.
I’m at a crossroads trying to understand this threshold of being an adult, yet emerging from childhood. It’s as if a tornado has taken me into it’s roar spun and tossed me around, breaking me away as I cling to the twisted security of my family—even the word “secure” sends a shiver through me. I’ve never been.
Being raised in an dysfunctional family battling alcoholism whispers, stay hidden in the shadows, be safe, don’t be noticed or share too much.
I know this is it.
I need to take a risk.
I need to let go of old fears, forgive my parents, embrace intimacy and move forward. I need to trust—especially myself—so that I can transition into joy.
Broken Bottles Series, Book 4
It’s Amazing, but for the first time in my life I have let go of the control. I’ve battled so hard to hold onto the twisted security of my family’s battle with alcoholism—it’s what I’ve known—never risking too much, holding back, so the hurt didn’t cut too deep. Now?
I feel a new life
An unknown.
Vulnerable.
It’s magnificent.
It’s . . . intimacy, being held, letting someone see into my dark places so the light, hidden since a little girl, can finally become brilliant.
It’s amazing. I’m about to shout my love for a man who seems to understand me like no one ever has. After I do, will everything fall apart? In my heart of shadows, the fear of being abandoned beats inside my head with regular rhythms.
“Please take me in your arms,” I say silently. “Accept my dark places. Help me understand you won’t leave me.” Maybe I’m dreaming when he says, “Whatever path we choose, whatever arises, we’ll overcome our fears.”
Have a finally been set free from generational mistakes that are passed forward in our family? Dare I ask for what I want and trust myself enough to share my thoughts, wishes, dreams . . . dare I actually hope in another person? Will he break his promises like my parents did to me? Can I really, really, be alive, be vulnerable, open and reach for deep, sensual intimacy? Can I take a risk and transition into joy?
Excerpt
I always prayed the same way at night: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Please bless my mother, father, sister, everyone in the world, and me. And please make my father quit drinking.”
As a child growing up in a family battling alcoholism, this is what I know:
Something bad is coming; it always does.
                         I can’t ask for help; I’m too ashamed.
                             I can’t talk about our secrets; no one understands.
                                         I can’t trust anyone; they always leave.
The evening begins when I am eight and my sister, eleven. We were trying to finish dinner before he’d unraveled. Within minutes, I’m hiding under the dining room table, cowering; praying that he won’t see my hiding place.
I hear my sister face the wrath of our father’s anger.
My small body curls into a ball.
It’s as if the desert storms from our mother’s childhood have come to us, their thunder and lightning crashing. I pray, “Please, God, protect me from the monster in my house.”
Tonight, we try to avoid our dad’s drunkenness and count down the minutes until Mom comes home from her night shift at the Juvenile Hall in San Francisco.
These evenings occur frequently in our house. Jenise and I are caught in a spider’s web, wrapped in our father’s terrible addiction.
We prepare for the coming terror.
My sister has refused to eat a scoop of creamed corn, given to us for dinner without a second thought of how we hated it.
Once he’s done with Jenise, I know he’ll turn to find me.
I clench my teeth in fear. I’m shaking under the dining room table.
About the Author

 

My passion is writing books that tell a love story and family saga of leaving old fears behind as the characters embrace intimacy and transition to joy. My first series, Broken Bottles, details those fears of growing up in a family battling alcoholism. Along with the struggle and pain of a parent’s rage, there is intelligence, strength, and survival. How to love intimately in all relationships is the challenge. For children of trauma, it can take years to let another person come close. When they do? It’s like rainbows cover their heart.
Slowly, you’ll read how my characters become vulnerable, reach for deep, sensual intimacy, and try desperately to let go of their fears. They struggle and risk everything to trust others—and themselves. My stories are about daring to take the baby steps that let them really come alive and in every way, experience and give love.
MAKING MONEY TO CREATE: The small, vacation rental/ property management company I run with my husband and son in Sonoma County, California allows me to have the money for my creative life. I love that I was born and raised in San Francisco. My father introduced me to baseball when I was six. I’ve rung a cable car bell, and went to concerts in Golden Gate Park with my sister where Jimmy Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane and Santana once played.
WHAT I’VE DONE/AM DOING – IT’S A JOURNEY OF DREAMS: Broken Bottles is a four part series. Two books, Shadow Heart and Fire Heart, are ready. Soon to follow are Jagged Heart and Amazing Heart. I’m honored to have 3 poems in an anthology called The Beats Go On, and a story in Sisters Born, Sisters Found. I have released the first book in a series for Introverts called The Introverts Guide to the Galaxy: Attending Conferences.

My Dream? To create beautifully decorated and custom journals with gorgeous paper that accompany each book series: The Introvert’s Journal, A Family Saga Journal, My Body’s Journal, and Trauma: You Can’t Stop Me Journal. Journaling was a lifesaver for me. I was in shock. You may be in shock. Don’t let that keep your heart frozen!

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